7 Tips for Building a Better Body Image as an Adult

Yes, we’ve all experienced the awkward phase of puberty. That time of your life when you noticed your body changing, weight fluctuating and hair start to pop up in new places. But now that you’ve left that phase behind, you’re more settled in your skin. But that may not mean you’re comfortable in it. Indeed, no matter your age, you can still have mixed feelings about your body.

Because while getting older may bring with it a sense of self-acceptance and the ability to reject unrealistic beauty standards, aging also brings a new set of challenges to our self-esteem. It’s especially hard with the rise of online advertising and social media which often consist of messages and products that encourage us to “minimize those wrinkles” and “cover up those grays.”

“You can be reading a magazine and on one page there’s an article about how to love yourself the way you are, and then you flip the page and there’s an ad for a diet plan or an anti-aging cream,” psychologist Ninoska Peterson, PhD, points out.

Body image issues happen to people of all ages, sizes and genders. A study in 2016 found that only about one-fourth of men and women who were surveyed reported being extremely satisfied with their appearance. Another review from 2023 found body image issues to be a global health concern that greatly impacts our mental and physical well-being.

So if you’re feeling the blues about your body, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to allow them to take over your life. Dr. Peterson breaks down how to adjust your thought patterns and get back on the road to a positive body image.

1. Neutralize your negative thoughts

A good place to start is to turn your negative self-talk around. Rather than nitpicking over the appearance of your body, try recognizing and appreciating the amazing things that it does for you every day. Appreciate that your strong arms allow you to carry your child and the groceries up the stairs in one trip. Or that your skilled hands prepared an amazing dinner or fixed a flat tire. Thank your belly for being able to hold food and turn it into energy and keep you nourished.

Here’s a little homework assignment: Write down five things you love about your personality. Easy, right? You’re a great listener and incredibly giving when helping others. Check and check!

Now list five things you love about your body. “For most people, it’s easier to do the first, but it’s equally important to do the second,” Dr. Peterson explains. Putting your feelings into written words helps you process your thoughts and commit things to memory.

If you have unhappy thoughts about your appearance, you might also find yourself dodging anything that shows your reflection. But, “avoidance breeds avoidance,” Dr. Peterson says.

Ignoring those unhappy feelings won’t make them go away. “If you can't say something nice about your body because you don't believe it, that's okay! You also don't have to be a jerk to yourself,” Dr. Peterson highlights. She suggests noticing those negative thoughts that come to mind when you see yourself in the mirror, and applying the above tactics to turn them around.

2. Create positive reminders

Sometimes, the best way to reframe your view on your body is through consistent reminders. Dr. Peterson suggests writing positive affirmations, goals or words of gratitude on sticky notes or note cards and putting them in places where you’ll see them throughout the day. That way whenever you glance at the bathroom mirror, your wallet or your computer at work, you’ll be setting yourself up for a more positive mindset.

You can try using any positive affirmations that reframe your body more positively. Try ones like:

• I respect my body.
• I am grateful for my body.
• My body deserves love.
• My body is a gift.
• It’s okay to love myself as I continue to evolve

You can even keep a reminder in your planner or in a notebook that you carry with you every day. The goal is to catch those negative thoughts about your body in the act or before they even hit.

3. Focus on other things that make you happy

Life is about so much more than how we look. Yet, how we feel about our bodies can dictate our moods and behaviors. If you’ve ever canceled plans with friends when you’re feeling bad about yourself, you know the feeling. But negative thoughts about your body shouldn’t keep you away from the things that bring you joy.

If you’re having trouble escaping these negative thoughts, try to refocus your thoughts on what is important in your life. A lot of times, our insecurities can consume us and make us think they’re the most crucial things in life.

Dr. Peterson recommends asking yourself: What if you lived your life as if you had 12 months, 5 days, one hour or 30 seconds to live?

“In these circumstances, you would most likely focus on people, places and things that you love and that make you feel good – not on how your body looks,” she adds.

Movement, hobbies and good deeds can also help put less focus on how your body looks. For example, moving your body can help focus on how strong you are instead of your appearance. Light exercise and yoga have been shown to help improve mental health issues, too.

4. Shut down the comparison game

You probably saw this one coming. Comparisons can often be the root of many insecurities tied to body image. Comparing your own body to others may be the quickest way to send your self-esteem plummeting.

Because of the impact of social media and online spaces, the phones we carry with us can often be the trigger that sends our body image in a downward spiral. Try to catch yourself when you notice your time on social media is making your feel worse about yourself. There’s no shame in tapping the “mute” or “block” button to keep your feed free of images that trigger any comparisons, either. In fact, it’s one of the healthiest things you can do.

But comparisons can happen in real life, too. One study found that spending less time with friends who aren’t body-focused may help quiet your own body dissatisfaction. Dr. Peterson recommends objectively admiring the good qualities you notice in other people, and making a point to compliment them — it’s a wonderful way to make both of you feel good.

5. Find peace with your current size

It’s beneficial to love and appreciate your body no matter the shape, size or phase it’s in. For example, if you’re having body issues related to weight, feeling comfortable with your size even as you try to lose or gain weight can make an impact.

In one study of girls who were overweight, those with the highest levels of body satisfaction gained less weight after 10 years than those who were least satisfied with their bodies. Another study found that women who have obese who improved their body image were also better able to self-regulate their eating.

When it comes to how your health is (or isn’t) related to your weight, it’s between your healthcare provider and you.

And the way you approach having a better relationship with your body is up to you as well. Whether you want to celebrate your body through body positivity or put less focus on it in your head through body neutrality, both can work in your favor. Most importantly: remember that your body size does not dictate whether or not you deserve a happy, healthy and joyful life. 

The bottom line

If you ever feel that your negative body image is affecting you in a distressing or disruptive way, Dr. Peterson recommends bringing it up to your healthcare provider. They can help you find individual or group treatment so you can work through those negative thoughts and start embracing your wonderful body just the way it is.