What To Do if Your Child Gets a Bad Grade

The giant letter scrawled at the top of your child’s test is NOT the one they (or you) wanted to see. So, what do you do now? Every kid gets an occasional bad grade, after all. Is this one worth a chat?

That’s a tricky question in Parenting 101. To help you ace the exam when the time comes, let’s do some extra studying with pediatrician Courtney Nolan, DO.

Tips for dealing with ‘bad’ grades

Let’s start with a basic reality: “Bad” means different things to different people. It’s not just a D that’s disappointing at times. A straight-A student who brings home a B might be upset about that grade.

But if the letter F keeps making an appearance on your child’s quizzes, tests and report cards, you may naturally wonder what you should do.

Here’s an outline to get you started.

1. Keep an eye on scores

Don’t just sit back and wait for your child’s report card to learn about their grades.

Many school districts now offer ways to track your child’s academic progress online. With a few simple mouse clicks, you’re often able to track how they’re doing on tests and homework assignments.

Regularly talk to your child about what’s going on in their classes, too. Ask them to share successes and difficulties they’re having at school.

“Make how they’re doing a regular point of discussion — not just something that comes up when there’s an issue,” advises Dr. Nolan. “Try to get ahead of things before they become a bigger problem.”

2. Show concern, not anger

Barking at your child won’t change an F to an A. If you’re angry and agitated over the results, take a break to cool down. Approaching the situation calmly will create a better opportunity for a productive discussion.

“Remember that what is important is what happens from this point forward,” says Dr. Nolan. “You can’t change the past.”

3. Ask questions and listen

There’s no doubt that you want to understand why your child’s grades have dropped. Is something going on at school? Did they not have enough time to study? Are they having trouble keeping up in class?

All fair questions. But remember, your kid is the one with the answers.

Let your child explain what happened and what they can do differently in the future. By listening, you’ll give them the opportunity to point you in the direction of the problem. Together, you’ll find a solution.

“Uncovering the cause of the poor performance will let you better address it,” states Dr. Nolan.

4. Talk to the teacher

If anyone knows how your child is doing in school, it’s their teacher. Try to establish a relationship with them at the start of the school year. Then, if your child starts bringing home bad grades, talk to their teacher to better understand what might be happening.

“Approach it as a team effort to help your child,” suggests Dr. Nolan.

Teachers can also give you resources for tutoring and tips on how to help your child learn the material. Ask about their teaching style, grading system and classroom expectations, too.

5. Beware of applying pressure

Showing concern about your child’s grades can be healthy and help put them on the right course. But be wary of fixating so much on test scores and academic standing that it escalates feelings of pressure.

Research consistently shows that students already feel daily stress, which can lead to health problems affecting their behavioral and emotional well-being.

“Pressure can result in depression, not sleeping and other significant problems,” cautions Dr. Nolan.

And none of that will help with grades.

6. Set a study routine

No matter what you do in life, preparation and process are important for success. Helping your child establish a focused study routine can put them in a better position to learn, says Dr. Nolan.

She recommends:

• Establishing set times to do homework
• Creating a quiet study environment with all the necessary supplies
• Removing distractions (such as cell phones) from the homework area

“Don’t overcomplicate things,” stresses Dr. Nolan. “Sometimes, the best results come from the simplest steps.”

7. Review schedules

Life tends to get busy. Sometimes, it can get too busy.

With that in mind, be careful not to over-schedule your child with extracurricular activities — especially if it leaves them little time to study or forces late nights that keep them from getting the sleep they need.

You may also want to consider their time spent watching TV or scrolling through social media.

“Help them find the right balance in their life,” advises Dr. Nolan.

8. Set goals

Work with your child to set realistic short-term and long-term academic goals that can give them direction, emphasizes Dr. Nolan. Track progress, too, and celebrate accomplishments along the way.

Final thoughts

While bad grades can be disappointing, remember that nobody is perfect. Students are going to get questions wrong between kindergarten and graduation. And odds are, they’ll probably bomb a test or two along the way.

That doesn’t make them a failure. It makes them human.

“Keep in mind that although grades are important, they’re just one measure of success,” reinforces Dr. Nolan. “Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture.”