Autism and Elopement: What You Need To Know About Wandering

Your child going missing is every parent’s worst nightmare. And some parents and caregivers live that nightmare on a regular basis. A 2012 survey of parents found that half of all children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) eloped at least once after age 4.

“Elopement — also known as wandering — is when a person runs away from a safe, monitored environment,” developmental pediatrician Mary Wong, MD, explains.

“What that actually means differs from child to child. It could be a child dashing out into traffic while walking with a caregiver. Other times, it’s sneaking out of the house while their parents are asleep.” For some children, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event. Others make elopement attempts multiple times a day.

No matter how or why it happens, one thing’s for sure: Wandering is dangerous. Dr. Wong walks us through the basics of autism elopement and shares her tips to help keep your loved one safe.

Understanding autism elopement

Wandering isn’t a sign of bad parenting or poor supervision. It’s a testament to how wily kids can be. As Dr. Wong notes, all children have a natural drive to explore, learn and have new experiences.

“Any child between the ages of 2 and 6 is always trying to find ways to outsmart you,” she says. “As soon as you think you’ve found that perfect lock for the kitchen, they always figure out how to open it. The same’s true for autistic children.” Wandering is a bigger, more consistent issue in ASD because not all autistic folks can learn from past experience — and some lack the safety awareness needed to avoid dangerous situations.

Some autistic kids lose the urge to wander with time. For others, elopement is a lifelong concern. We’re focusing on children here, but the same basic principles apply to anybody who wanders, including autistic adults and people of all ages with cognitive issues like Alzheimer’s disease.

Why autistic elopement happens

Wandering is a common behavior in the autistic community, but it happens for deeply personal reasons. People who wander do it to achieve a goal.

Understanding your child’s motivation can make it easier to prevent future elopements. Here are a few common reasons why autistic kids wander:

• Curiosity. The world’s a fascinating place, so your little one may elope in an effort to take in the sights, sounds and sensations of a new place.
• An unsatisfied desire. Some autistic children struggle to communicate their wants and needs — and they may not understand the concept of delayed gratification. If your kid hyper-fixates on certain people, places or things, they could take off in search of them.
• Changes to their routine. Interruptions to an autistic kid’s daily routine (like going on vacation or working with a new teacher) significantly increase the risk of elopement.
• A fight-or-flight response. Like any other child, an autistic child may bolt because something scares them, like the neighbor’s new dog or a clap of thunder.
• Sensory overwhelm. Many autistic kids are hypersensitive to sensory stimulation. Your child may run away in an attempt to escape environments or situations that stress them out, like a birthday party or a fire drill.
• Seeking sensory stimulation. Autistic kids also wander in search of sensory experiences like the feeling of sand between their toes or the sun glistening on the lake.
• Because it’s fun. You were a kid once, so you know: Sometimes, it’s fun being chased! Darting into traffic is a great way to get attention — not to mention a big reaction. Gestures and tones that communicate danger to a neurotypical child may be funny or encouraging to an autistic child. That’s why staying calm is important during an elopement incident.

Risk factors

When it comes to autistic elopement, the single greatest risk factor is also the simplest.

“The children at highest risk of wandering are the ones who’ve tried it before,” Dr. Wong shares. Other characteristics that help predict elopement include:

• ASD severity. A 2012 study found that the more severe a child’s impairment is, the more likely they are to elope.
• Mobility. Dr. Wong notes that movement issues are fairly common in autistic children, as is the tendency to have multiple, overlapping conditions. Kids without these issues are more likely to wander. A child who uses a powerchair or wears braces on their legs may have the urge to elope, for example, but they’ll find it harder to do.
• Difficulty communicating. The frustration of being unable to express their thoughts and feelings may cause kids with limited speech and language skills to elope more often.
• Sensory processing issues. An overstimulated child may use elopement to alleviate their discomfort.
• Special interests. One of the most common features of autism is unusual or restricted interests. Interests centered outside the home may lead kids to wander. If your child’s passionate about car washes, they’re more likely to wander than they’d be if they were interested in something like drawing.
• A tendency to hyperfocus. If your child tends to get completely wrapped up in what they’re doing, they may not notice they’ve traveled off course until they’re truly lost.

Prevention

If your child tends to elope, you have to balance the urge to keep them safe and healthy with their very real need to engage with the world around them. Dr. Wong recommends doing the following to help reduce the likelihood of your child wandering into trouble.

Invest in wearable identification materials

Medical ID bracelets, cards and lanyards can help ensure that anyone who happens upon your child will be aware of their needs. Include:

• Their full name.
• Your name.
• Your telephone number.
• If your kid is nonspeaking, be sure to indicate that, as well as any medical conditions or disabilities emergency services need to be aware of, like diabetes, a seizure disorder or a life-threatening allergy.

Does your child have sensory issues that make wearable identification devices unusable? Dr. Wong says that you can have temporary tattoos made that convey all the same information.

Keep careful records of elopements

There’s no “bright side” to wandering. These incidents are scary, full stop. But you can learn from them. Keep careful records of every elopement attempt — successful and unsuccessful. Include the following information:

• Where your child was when the incident began.
• Where they were found and where you think they were headed (if those are different places).
• Who they were with before they eloped and who found them.
• The time, date and anything significant about the day.
• What you think triggered their wandering.
• What happened after they were found.

Elopement is extremely upsetting. But studying it might help you find patterns in your loved one’s behavior. By figuring out what events, feelings, needs or stimuli provoked the incident, you can better predict (and prevent) future elopements. If, for example, you find your kiddo usually makes a run for it in unfamiliar environments, consider using a safety harness or wrist link when visiting new places.

Buy elopement-friendly apparel

If your kid elopes frequently, dress them in outfits that are memorable and easy to see from a distance. Does your child insist on wearing the same basketball jersey every day? Go with it! Wearing the same outfit every day will make identifying them even easier.

If those hacks aren’t doing the job, get creative. If your child elopes at night, sew high-visibility reflective tape onto their pajamas. If wandering is a daily occurrence, consider ordering custom safety alert shirts. If they undress at inappropriate times, purchase adaptive clothing to keep them protected from the elements and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Address the behavior with your child

Here’s the thing about eloping: It’s extremely scary, but it’s a perfectly normal and natural behavior. Punishing your child for eloping isn’t the answer.

Instead, meet your child where they are. Teach them about road safety, the importance of the word “stop” and stranger danger in a way that will resonate for them. Heap praise on your kiddo when they demonstrate what they’ve learned. And if they make a mistake, correct them using clear, calm language.

Teach your loved one to swim

“For some reason, autistic children are very attracted to water,” Dr. Wong notes. “If you have a neighbor with a pool or there’s a pond nearby, your kid will remember how to get there. That’s why there’s such a high drowning rate for autistic children who elope.”

Dr. Wong isn’t exaggerating. According to the American Red Cross, drowning is the leading cause of death for both autistic children and adults. A 2017 study found that autistic kids are 160 times more likely to die from drowning compared to the general pediatric population — and 75% of fatal drownings involving autistic children were the result of wandering.

Statistics like that can make having your kid anywhere near water a terrifying prospect. But teaching your child to swim is one of the best things you can do to keep them safe.

Learning how to swim may take longer or look different for your child than it would for a neurotypical kid. Work with a professional who’s certified to teach adaptive swimming. If there aren’t any special needs swim classes in your area, talk to your child’s healthcare provider or reach out to local autism organizations.

Wherever you take your child for lessons, Dr. Wong recommends dedicating at least some of their pool time to learning how to swim fully clothed.

Secure your home

According to the 2012 survey mentioned earlier, over 70% of elopement attempts take place at home. It’s tough to feel like your kid isn’t completely safe in their own home. But Dr. Wong says there’s a lot you can do to discourage wandering.

“The technology is getting better every day,” she states. “We even have safety beds now, that are designed to prevent elopement.” And safety beds aren’t the only way to discourage elopement.

Dr. Wong also encourages parents to:

Secure all the exits

For some kids, all it takes is a child-safe doorknob cover or a hook-and-eye lock installed out of reach. Others require more advanced precautions. If you aren’t sure what you need, Dr. Wong recommends reaching out to either a locksmith or a security company for help.

Right about now, you’re probably wondering about fire safety. Once you’ve secured your home, contact first responders on a non-emergency line and explain the precautions you’ve taken. Then affix “autistic occupant” stickers to the windows of your home so they’re visible in case of a house fire.

Employ alert systems

Security systems, cameras, motion sensors, pressure sensing mats and door/window alarms make it easier to monitor your child at home.

Create a special safe space

The 2012 parent survey we referenced earlier found that 36% of autistic children elope in an attempt to escape sensory overload.

There are lots of home modifications that can make your space more ASD-friendly, but meltdowns will still happen from time to time. So, set aside a space in your house for your child to retreat to in those moments. Sensory tents are great, but you can turn any small space into a sanctuary, including a closet!

Just be sure to involve your child in the design process: Their safe space has to be a place they actually want to go to deter elopement.

Fence your yard

The more layers of protection you have, the better. If you live in a home with a yard, installing a tall privacy fence with a child-safe lock provides a backup if your in-home security measures fall short.

Communicate with their caregivers

Nobody can watch their children 24/7, nor should they. It’s good for your kid to go to school or a day program, interact with family members and friends, and have new experiences.

But nobody knows your kid quite like you do. And there’s a risk that their caregivers won’t recognize the warning signs or take the proper precautions to prevent an elopement.

“If your child can escape from your house, they can escape from anywhere,” Dr. Wong says. “So, whether you’re bringing your child to a restaurant, to kindergarten or to grandma’s house, it’s important to let people know to be aware.”

And any trusted adult who’s going to be caring for your kiddo in some capacity — from the bus driver and the teacher to their older siblings — needs thorough safety training.

Secure your neighborhood

If home is where most elopement attempts happen, your neighbors have a vital role to play in keeping your kiddo safe. And there are lots of different ways you can engage your community.

Consider requesting a street sign

If you live on a busy street, an “Autistic Child Area” road sign could provide some much-needed peace of mind. Contact your local Department of Transportation and homeowners’ association (if you have one) to learn about the process of having a street sign installed.

Contact trusted neighbors ahead of time

There are many templates online for letters you can send to neighbors alerting them to your child’s special needs and tendency toward wandering. Provide a picture of your child in the letter and send updated photos every six months to a year. Only send these letters to individuals you know and trust.

Make a communication plan

If your child has wandered out of sight, you need to be looking for them as soon as possible. That’s easier if there’s an alert system in place for your support network ahead of time. You can:

• Create a phone tree or group text chain to quickly alert neighbors, friends and family.
• Pre-write a social media post you can publish as soon as you realize your child’s missing.
• Complete one of the autism elopement alert forms available online so it’s ready to send to emergency services and law enforcement at a moment’s notice.

Reach out to emergency services ahead of time

Speak with the authorities ahead of time to ensure you have a go-to contact in the event of an emergency. Depending on where you live, they may maintain a special needs registry you can join. Regardless, the more information the authorities have about your child’s specific situation, the more likely they are to respond appropriately. Tell them if your child:

• Doesn’t respond to their name or commands like “no” or “stop.”
• Is nonspeaking or has difficulty communicating.
• Doesn’t make eye contact.
• Exhibits aggressive behavior.
• Is scared of or fascinated by people in uniform — especially if they’re likely to try and grab objects that catch their interest.

Be sure to ask first responders about the following, too:

• What training they’ve received on interacting with autistic people.
• Their previous experience responding to elopement emergencies.
• What options exist to alert people in the area that your child is missing, like reverse 911.
• The criteria for Silver Alert activations (if you live in the U.S.). Some states only issue silver alerts for people 65 years or older. In others, anybody with a cognitive or developmental disability is eligible.

Make use of locating devices

There are plenty of products available that use GPS technology to track missing people. Many include other features like cameras, fall detection and two-way speakers.

If your child is willing to wear a smartwatch, great! If they can’t — or you’re worried they’ll ditch it — there are lots of different waterproof, wearable holders for Apple AirTags, Samsung smart tags or Tile trackers. Dr. Wong notes that there are even ways to secure the tracker on (or inside) your child’s shoe.

If you have any concerns about affording GPS devices, speak with your healthcare provider or social worker. You can also reach out to local and national autism nonprofits. Many offer equipment grants.

Self-care = safety

No matter how much you plan, taking care of someone who elopes will never be easy. The prospect of losing your child, even for a fleeting moment, is terrifying. And living with that possibility day in and day out can take a real toll.

The 2012 survey found that 43% of parents of autistic children who wander struggled to sleep, for fear of their child bolting in the night. Another 62% said they either wouldn’t attend — or struggled to enjoy — activities that took place outside their homes. The most alarming statistic? 50% of the parents whose autistic children eloped reported receiving no help or guidance from anyone on preventing or addressing the behavior.

Services are better now than they were in 2012, but we still have a long way to go to make the world safe for (and supportive of) autistic people.

If there’s one thing Dr. Wong wants you to take away from this article, it’s this: Help is out there. And it’s OK to need it.

If you don’t take care of yourself, you run the risk of burning out. Part of being an effective caregiver is knowing when to seek help. All the self-care in the world won’t stop you from worrying about your child. Nor should it. But you’re best able to help keep them safe when your emotional, physical and spiritual gas tanks are full.

Autism support groups and caregiver forums can be good options for processing elopement attempts, sharing tips and learning healthy coping strategies to deal with your stress. Respite care can give you the space you need to recharge. Healthcare providers can offer helpful insight and advice. Autism nonprofits can offer resources and training. And your loved ones can keep you going when times are tough.

Elopement can be a terrifying phenomenon, but you don’t have to face it alone.