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Taming fear and reclaiming your future after treatment
Making it through cancer treatment can be a grueling process. And when it’s done, people want to “get back to their lives” as much as possible. But the fear of cancer coming back — or recurring — can make that process difficult.
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It’s natural for people who’ve lived (or are currently living) with cancer to be afraid of a recurrence. And it’s equally natural to want to get rid of that fear, especially when it interferes with quality of life. But well-meaning advice to “stay positive” may fall short.
We spoke with psychologist Karen Hurley, PhD, about cancer anxiety: How to recognize it, tips for addressing it and what to do if it’s gotten bigger than you can handle.
According to Dr. Hurley, the process of getting back on track after cancer treatment isn’t always easy. “There may be ways which you can re-engage with your goals, and there may be some goals that need to be changed or dropped altogether, which is a painful process, and one that requires time to sort through.
“Making plans or cultivating hopes again feels vulnerable,” she continues. “If those dreams have been knocked over to the side once, what’s to stop that from happening again? It may have always been there, but there’s a new sensitivity to how vulnerable our plans for the future really are.”
Dr. Hurley elaborates, “You may feel lost because no one can promise you that it won’t come back, even if you follow all the recommendations you get. You may feel demoralized that you got knocked off track with something that was important in your life — whether it’s school, building a family, work, or other obligations.”
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There are often a lot of other feelings mixed in with cancer recurrence anxiety. “For example, some people will be very angry about their cancer diagnosis because they ‘did everything right’ and got cancer anyway,” she says. “So now, what are they supposed to do in order to protect themselves?”
Understanding the feelings contributing to your cancer anxiety is one of the first steps in addressing it. But it’s also important to know what outside factors provoke it.
Below are some common anxiety triggers people living with (or in remission from) cancer experience:
Being unable to make the anxiety go away, unsurprisingly, can make you more anxious. Without proper coping mechanisms in place, that fear or recurrence and progression can spiral.
We’ve already discussed how reframing your anxiety can help you better understand it. Now, let’s learn how it can actually help us cope.
Dr. Hurley teaches people dealing with cancer anxiety mind-body techniques for stress relief. Here are three of the exercises she recommends:
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If you’re reading this article trying to figure out if you’re anxious enough to justify a call to your oncologist, call them. Cancer isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Communicating your thoughts and feelings to your medical team will help them help you.
Cancer is scary, and it’s normal and natural for you to worry that it may come back or spread to other parts of your body. Learning to live with that anxiety might not be easy or fun, but it’s a struggle worth having, and one you don’t need to go through alone. Organizations like CancerCarehave a lot of resources to offer and can connect you to peers who share your complicated relationship with the future.
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