Nesting Instinct When Pregnant

All kinds of unexpected urges can hit you during pregnancy. (Peanut butter and pickles, anyone?) But a sudden desire to scrub the bathroom grout or clean the baseboards? What’s that about?

It’s what some call the “nesting instinct,” and it affects many expectant parents.

Ob/Gyn Erin Higgins, MD, explains the signs of nesting and what to do — and not do — if it hits you.

What is the nesting instinct in pregnancy?

The nesting instinct is an urge to get your nest (aka your home) ready for a new baby. But don’t let the name fool you: It’s not a natural “instinct” that everyone experiences.

“When you’re expecting a baby, you might feel a loss of control,” Dr. Higgins shares. “You may not know exactly when your baby will arrive or how the birth will go. Nesting can help you feel like you have some power over things.”

Nesting may also be a way to deal with pre-baby jitters or stress.

“Cleaning and organizing can be calming,” she adds. “It can also be a way to pass the time while you wait for your baby.”

It can be a common way for expectant parents to meet societal pressures to have a neat and tidy “nest,” too.

“We see photos online and in magazines that depict this beautiful, immaculate nursery,” Dr. Higgins points out. “In many ways, we’re told that babies need a spotless, picture-perfect environment. In reality, they don’t.”

Signs of nesting

Whatever the cause, many find the nesting urge can manifest in a lot of ways, such as:

• Cleaning things you wouldn’t normally worry about so much, like your freezer or those little ledges around the windows
• Decorating your baby’s room to perfection
• Organizing cabinets and cupboards
• Purchasing diapers, formula and other baby supplies (even if you’re already stocked up)
• Sanitizing (and re-sanitizing) baby bottles or breast pump parts
• Washing, folding and organizing baby clothes and onesies (even to the point of arranging them in rainbow order or ranking them by cuteness factor)

When does nesting start?

Parents-to-be often experience the nesting instinct a few weeks before baby’s arrival.

“Nesting seems to be common in the last trimester of pregnancy,” Dr. Higgins reports. “But some may experience it earlier. It varies from person to person, and even from pregnancy to pregnancy in the same person.”

And don’t worry if your baby’s due date is looming and you don’t care about dusting the bookshelf. That’s perfectly normal, too!

“The nesting instinct, or lack of it, doesn’t predict what kind of parent you’ll be,” Dr. Higgins reassures. “Babies only need a few things at birth. If you have diapers, clothes, a safe place to sleep, a car seat and breastmilk or formula, your baby will be fine.”

Making the most of nesting

If the urge to clean and organize has you dreaming about gleaming floors, go ahead and clean. Now could be the time to get some things done that’ll make life easier once your baby arrives.

But this isn’t a pass to scrub until you drop. Dr. Higgins advises using caution, not overdoing it. And enlist some help if possible.

If the need to clean has a hold on you, try these tasks.

Do the laundry

Even if you’ve washed your baby’s future outfits, you might want to get caught up on other laundry. Fresh bed linens (for you and baby), blankets and burp cloths can make life a bit easier with a newborn.

You can also use this time to consider your wardrobe, and ready some clothes for your postpartum recovery. Despite what you see in the media, most need a few months to get back into pre-pregnancy clothes, and that’s completely normal. So, don’t ditch your maternity-wear just yet.

“If you recently gave birth, have some maternity clothes or loose-fitting outfits ready to wear,” Dr. Higgins suggests. “If you’re planning to wear nursing tops or bras, now is a good time to wash those, too.”

Install your baby’s car seat

It’s not too early to put the infant car seat in your vehicle.

“A properly installed car seat is essential if your baby is going to ride in a car,” Dr. Higgins reminds us. “Getting it situated weeks before delivery could save you some stress when it’s go-time.”

Not sure you got it quite right? Check with your local firehouse to see if they offer car seat checks. Or search for a child passenger safety technician near you.

Make meals

It can be tough to cook in those first few weeks after giving birth. A little meal prep now means you can eat well later, without too much effort.

“Meals that you can freeze now and heat up later can be a lifesaver,” Dr. Higgins recommends. “Proper nutrition is important in the postpartum period, especially if you’re breastfeeding.”

Pack your hospital bag

When it’s time for your delivery, you’ll want to grab your bag and go. Pack your hospital bag now — because who wants to try and remember everything you need between contractions?

“You’ll probably need toiletries and going-home clothes for you and your baby,” Dr. Higgins notes. “The hospital will provide the necessities, though, so don’t worry too much about forgetting something.”

Set up your baby’s sleeping space

A safe place for your baby to snooze is essential, so set up their crib or bassinet if you can. Equip it with clean sheets but skip the crib bumpers, as they can lead to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

“Your baby’s sleep space shouldn’t look like the plush pictures you might see online that feature stuffed animals, bumpers and blankets,” Dr. Higgins states. “Get a firm mattress and a tight-fitting crib sheet, and skip everything else.”

What to avoid if you’re nesting

You might want to scrub and sanitize every surface in the house if the nesting urge hits hard. But step away from the bleach. This isn’t necessary — and it might not be best for you or your baby.

“If you're pregnant, you can be sensitive to harsh cleaning products, and some could be harmful to you or your baby,” Dr. Higgins warns. “Avoid or minimize products with strong fragrances and chemicals.”

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a sparkling clean house if that makes you happy. But opt for gentle cleaning options, like baking soda, vinegar and soap to clean up. And avoid climbing ladders or lifting heavy objects: Now isn’t the time to risk your safety.

And if you feel overwhelmed, remember that babies don’t need a spotless house. Cleanliness is good — squeaky clean isn’t a bar you need to meet.

Will my partner also get the nesting instinct?

Some non-birthing people do get the urge to nest, but others don’t. If the nesting instinct isn’t hitting your partner, don’t take it personally.

“Everyone deals with big life changes differently,” Dr. Higgins shares. “An urge to clean doesn’t correlate with how much they care about you or the baby.”

That doesn’t mean you should single-handedly do everything to get ready.

“Your loved ones may not know that you want their help, so don’t be afraid to ask,” she advises. “It can be a fun bonding experience to get your nest ready together.”