Advertisement
Use a naptime schedule and relaxing sounds to encourage self-soothing
It’s naptime — thank goodness. But your baby isn’t having it. They cry. They fuss. So, you bounce them, rock them or even drive around town until they fall asleep.
Advertisement
Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Policy
It’s the question on the top of your mind (and you’re not alone): When — and how — will my baby learn to self-soothe and calm down without so much effort?
Pediatrician Matthew Badgett, MD, answers this important question, and shares ways to help your baby learn to self-soothe.
When your baby self-soothes, they can calm down on their own and they:
But self-soothing isn’t just for little ones. It’s an important skill throughout your life. Whether you realize it or not, you use your own self-soothing methods to feel better when you’re stressed or anxious.
“Self-soothing is a way of regulating your emotions,” Dr. Badgett explains. “Babies might suck their thumb or hold a stuffed animal. Adults might listen to music, take a walk or do yoga. The type of self-soothing you use changes throughout your life, but it’s a key part of your emotional health.”
Every exhausted parent wants to know: When will my baby lie in their crib and drift off to sleep without my help? Or When can I put them in their bouncy seat for five minutes without screams of protest?
“In general, don’t try to teach your baby to self-soothe before they are 3 months old,” advises Dr. Badgett. “Newborns need you to help soothe them because they don’t have the ability to control their emotions. Learning emotional control is a process that takes years, so don’t expect too much from an infant or toddler.”
Advertisement
And self-soothing is a gradual process — not a switch you can flip. “Self-soothing is really co-soothing because the parent is still involved,” says Dr. Badgett. “Your baby plays a more active role in soothing, but you set them up for success. You figure out how your baby can calm down with less of your help.”
If your baby is past the newborn stage but still cries relentlessly when you put them down, there is hope. These tips can help your baby gain self-soothing skills:
Before you assume that your baby is just cranky, review their list of needs. Your baby won’t be able to self-soothe if:
After you’ve ruled out those issues, move on to the next steps.
Babies love routine. Try to put your baby to bed at the same time every day. Don’t skip naps or keep your baby up late. A schedule keeps them from becoming overtired — that’s when any hope of self-soothing goes out the window.
“If your baby goes to bed at the same times each day, their body clock will get used to it,” Dr. Badgett notes. “Then, they will start to feel sleepy right at naptime or bedtime. Babies that are drowsy, but not exhausted, are better able to fall asleep on their own.”
The sound of a fan or a white noise machine can be music to your baby’s ears. “Many babies prefer a steady sound over a perfectly quiet room,” Dr. Badgett says. “It helps drown out other sounds that could startle them, and it has a calming effect.”
Turn on the white noise machine when it’s bedtime. This can serve as a cue for your baby to learn when it’s time for dreamland.
After you place your baby in their crib or seat, don’t leave right away.
“If you give your baby some attention without holding them, they learn that being put down isn’t a bad thing,” Dr. Badgett explains. “Talk to them, or gently put your hand on their belly. After a few minutes, calmly leave the room.”
Pacifiers are a useful tool for babies under the age of 1. But use caution. It can be hard to take the paci away from a baby who can’t calm down without it.
“Pacifiers help young babies learn to self-soothe before they learn other techniques,” Dr. Badgett says. “But limit pacifier use to naptime and bedtime. Use them with other methods, like white noise and a consistent routine. That way, your baby won’t learn to rely on the pacifier alone.”
It’s normal for young babies to fall asleep at the bottle or breast. But as your baby grows, they need to learn other ways to drift off.
Advertisement
“Don’t feed your older baby right at naptime with the sole purpose of getting them to sleep,” Dr. Badgett suggests. “They might end up overeating or relying on the nipple even when they’re already full.”
You can avoid the feed-to-sleep method if you:
With a little persistence, perseverance and patience on your end, your little one could be self-soothing to sleep in no time.
Advertisement
Learn more about our editorial process.
Advertisement
Children as young as 6 months should get vaccinated, but dosage guidelines depend on kids’ ages and past vaccines
Imagination, completing tasks and social interactions are all key benefits for your brain
First things first: It doesn’t mean anybody did anything wrong
Yawning is a clear signal, but frowning, ear-pulling and finger-sucking can be, too
Baby’s caregivers should be up-to-date on flu, COVID-19 and Tdap vaccines to protect the newborn in their lives
Your baby can develop lip blisters from an infection or because of the way they feed
When done safely, carrying your baby in a sling or other device can free your hands and soothe your little one
These kids’ visits include getting important vaccines and checking on developmental milestones
Not all ear infections need antibiotics — cold and warm compresses and changing up your sleep position can help
A glass of lemon water in the morning can help with digestion and boost vitamin C levels, and may even help get you into a better routine