Midlife Crisis in Women: When It Starts and How To Cope

Editor’s note: Throughout this story, we discuss how midlife crises affect women. Midlife changes involve both biological factors and gender-based role adjustments. Language and readability matter. So here, we use “women” to refer to both people assigned female at birth (AFAB) and everyone who identifies as a woman as their gender expression. Likewise, we use “men” to describe everyone who identifies as a man and people assigned male at birth (AMAB).

It’s a classic trope: the middle-aged man with a new sports car or even a new romantic partner. But men don’t have the midlife crisis market cornered.

A study shows that midlife, the age range that spans between 40 and 65, can be quite tumultuous for women.

During this time, women aren’t only dealing with biological changes, but they’re also dealing with work problems, family issues, securing finances and reaching personal goals. It can be a really stressful time as women can also find themselves up against heart problems and even sleep deprivation.

“The words ‘midlife crisis’ can put a negative spin on this period. But it doesn’t have to be bad. It can be an opportunity to reevaluate your life,” says psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD. “It’s the chance to pause and spend time and energy figuring out what’s meaningful to you.”

Dr. Albers offers six ways you can do just that — and become happier and more fulfilled in the process.

Women and midlife crises

When it comes to a midlife crisis, women often experience one during times of transition, such as during a relationship or hormonal change.

“Hormonal changes are one of the biggest differences in these situations,” says Dr. Albers. “As women enter menopause, estrogen and progesterone decrease and cause physiological changes, including fluctuations in sleep, mood and sex drive. Hormone disruption and the resulting feelings can make a woman tune in to herself. And because women are usually tending to everyone else’s feelings and needs, this self-reflection can be eye-opening.”

She adds how a woman’s age can also influence their experience.

“As mothers, they may be more visible in the community or have a stronger connection with their kids,” she explains. “But then, their children start needing them less. And when women are no longer giving all their attention to their kids, they have time to reflect on their own needs and how those needs aren’t being fulfilled.”

Women can also start to feel more invisible in society. This feeling can also occur when women experience the loss of a parent or a change in their career.

What are the symptoms of a midlife crisis in women?

How do you know it’s something deeper rather than a moment of frustration? Dr. Albers says you may experience:

• Depression and anxiety
• Unhappiness
• Lack of motivation or desire to put time into certain activities
• Dissatisfaction with career and other life choices

How long does a woman’s midlife crisis last?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The duration of a midlife crisis can vary from a few weeks to even years — but it depends on your unique situation and factors.

“The length of a midlife crisis is as unique as the individual experiencing it. Some may find resolution in a few months, while others might navigate their journey for several years,” notes Dr. Albers. “The most important aspect is identifying this inner struggle and knowing that it’s a normal phase.”

How to cope with a midlife crisis as a woman

As you work your way through a midlife crisis, Dr. Albers says there are ways to cope and manage with what you’re feeling:

• Acknowledge it. Be honest with yourself if you’re feeling depressed or anxious about your life. You can’t overcome what you don’t acknowledge.
• Do a self-assessment. Take a deep dive into your feelings to find out what’s meaningful to you. Think about where you spend your time and energy and what’s working for you. “Find out what your energy vampires are. What’s sucking out your energy instead of energizing your life? That may mean realigning relationships, letting go of toxic ones, finding new friend groups or doing more hobbies or things for yourself,” she suggests.
• Lose the guilt. Don’t feel bad about your self-exploration. “Recognize that this is a necessity and not an indulgence,” adds Dr. Albers. “Give yourself permission to explore these life questions.”
• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down what you feel grateful for. Look back at your entries to see what experiences you want to increase. “It’s finding the meaning behind the choices you’ve made and what choices you want to continue to make in the future,” says Dr. Albers.
• Make your health a priority. Dr. Albers also recommends reaching out to your primary care doctor or gynecologist so they can help you understand what’s normal and what might be depression or anxiety. Consulting with a therapist can help you navigate your emotions as well. “If you’re experiencing severe depression, you feel unmotivated and it’s affecting your daily activities or you’re having suicidal thoughts, then it’s definitely time to get professional help from a counselor, psychologist or therapist,” she stresses.
• Tap into your sisterhood. It’s important to know you’re not the only one who has experienced a midlife crisis. “Talking with other women about what you’re feeling supports you,” encourages Dr. Albers. “Women who have been through it before can share ideas or tips to help provide meaning in your life.”

Bottom line?

There isn’t a blueprint on how to navigate a midlife crisis. It’s unique to each person: what you’re feeling, when it happens and how it affects your life.

And it can be a blessing in disguise. A midlife crisis can give you the opportunity to evaluate your life, your relationships and your goals — giving you the chance to make changes for the better.

While intense self-reflection can have you ready to make drastic changes, Dr. Albers urges caution when considering major life decisions.

“Don’t make any extreme or impulsive ones,” she says. “Be thoughtful about the changes you’d like to make and implement them slowly — you don’t have to do them all at once.”