Locations:
Search IconSearch
September 16, 2019/Health Conditions/Mental Health

Yes, Postpartum Depression in Men Is Very Real

What to know, and when to seek help

Father holding his daughter on the couch

The frequent night feedings. The fussing that seemingly can’t be soothed. The rearranging of your days to tend to the constant needs of a brand new baby. It can all catch up to any new parent.

Advertisement

Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Policy

While we typically associate the “baby blues” and postpartum depression with women, new fathers can experience serious mood changes after bringing baby home, too.

In fact, paternal postnatal depression is “wildly common,” says psychologist Scott Bea, PsyD. About 10% of fathers become depressed before or just after their baby is born, according to research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Postpartum blues are especially common three to six months after the birth, with as many as one in four dads experiencing symptoms.

The reason is partly biological, Dr. Bea says. “Everyone knows that mothers’ hormones change a lot during and after pregnancy. But there’s evidence that fathers also experience real changes in their hormone levels after a baby is born,” he explains.

And plenty of non-hormonal factors are at play, too:

  • One plus one … plus one: Men may be used to being the focus of their partners’ attention. That changes when a baby enters the equation. Moms tend to bond quickly with baby. Dads bond with babies in different ways, and it can take a while. In the meantime, dad can feel like a third wheel.
  • Provider pressure: A new father can feel intense pressure to provide for his new addition, which can ramp up stress around finances and career.
  • Guilt trips: There’s a cultural expectation that new dads should be over the moon. If they’re not quite feeling it yet, they might feel guilty on top of everything else.
  • Just not getting it: Most new parents get so little sleep — and so little sex — that they might start to wonder why they have a bed. Lack of either can take a toll on your mood.

Advertisement

Dads & depression: Know the signs

Symptoms of depression can look different in men and women. Some of the more common signs in men include:

  • Anger, irritability or aggression.
  • Loss of interest in work or favorite activities.
  • Working all the time.
  • Acting distant or withdrawing from family and friends.
  • Feeling frustrated, discouraged or cynical.
  • Feeling sad, hopeless or overwhelmed.

Men who have a history of depression might be at greater risk of postpartum depression. So are new fathers whose partners also have postpartum symptoms.

Help for paternal postpartum depression

Unfortunately, many men laugh off the idea of paternal postpartum depression. And even if they accept it’s the real deal, they might not admit it’s affecting them.

“But there’s nothing shameful about postpartum depression,” Dr. Bea stresses. “Fatherhood is a huge new job, with long hours and no pay, and society doesn’t do a good enough job supporting men in this role.”

To maintain a positive mood when you’re in the thick of new fatherhood, Dr. Bea recommends focusing on the self-care basics:

  1. Eat well.
  2. Exercise.
  3. Rest (yeah, we know, but grab a nap when you can get one).
  4. Avoid drinking, gambling and other reckless behaviors.
  5. Talk about your feelings — whether it’s with your partner, parent, sibling or friend (or anyone who will listen without judgment).

Adjusting to a new baby takes time. It’s normal for your mood to be a little rocky in the process. But if your symptoms last more than two to three weeks, consider help from a counselor or psychotherapist.

“Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re helpless,” Dr. Bea points out. It means you’re doing what you need to do so you can be the best partner — and best dad — you can be.

Advertisement

Learn more about our editorial process.

Related Articles

Person sitting on couch with head in hand, looking upset/stressed
October 4, 2024/Mental Health
How Stress Can Make You Sick

We all experience some stress from time to time, but chronic stress can contribute to health issues like diabetes and cardiovascular disease

Legs and feet of person walking through leaves on grass outside
October 2, 2024/Wellness
20 Ways To Relieve Stress

Getting outside, eating a healthy diet, taking up journaling, listening to music — even cuddling a pet — can provide stress relief

Person in bedroom looking in hand mirror
October 1, 2024/Mental Health
6 Ways To Build a Healthy Self-Image

It’s a continual process, but through meaningful practices, you can find peace and positivity with yourself

Person sitting with head on knees on floor, lit by giant cell phone, with people standing in background interacting
September 30, 2024/Mental Health
How Loneliness Can Impact Your Health

Feeling lonely may increase your risk of cardiovascular disease, depression and high blood pressure

Frustrated person at desk with laptop and paperwork piled up, as coworkers leave the office
September 27, 2024/Mental Health
Why a Martyr Complex Doesn’t Serve You

By setting healthy boundaries, reflecting on your motives and expressing your needs, you can find a healthier balance

Person in red superhero cape standing in front of shadowed crowd
September 24, 2024/Mental Health
Save Yourself From the Savior Complex

By setting boundaries around how much you give, you can save your time and resources while also being a good person

Person jumping, releasing umbrella, with healthcare provider displaying acronym for cognitive behavioral therapy sign
September 16, 2024/Mental Health
How To Heal Your Inner Child

Identify your emotional triggers, come to terms with your regrets and allow yourself to be a kid again

Person with backpack on holding hand of young child with teddy bear, walking
September 16, 2024/Mental Health
Meet Your Inner Child

Your inner child is a representation of your childhood experiences and the ways they can still affect you on a day-to-day basis

Trending Topics

Female and friend jogging outside
How To Increase Your Metabolism for Weight Loss

Focus on your body’s metabolic set point by eating healthy foods, making exercise a part of your routine and reducing stress

stovetop with stainless steel cookware and glassware
5 Ways Forever Chemicals (PFAS) May Affect Your Health

PFAS chemicals may make life easier — but they aren’t always so easy on the human body

jar of rice water and brush, with rice scattered around table
Could Rice Water Be the Secret To Healthier Hair?

While there’s little risk in trying this hair care treatment, there isn’t much science to back up the claims

Ad