Advertisement
Here’s how to cope with an angry teenager
Another day, another angry outburst from your teen. At this point, you’d be surprised if 24 hours went by without screaming and door slamming. But if your teen is having over-the-top, violent outbursts, it may signal a type of teenage rage disorder.
Advertisement
Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Policy
Psychiatrist Jess Levy, MD, offers guidance on intermittent explosive disorder (IED).
“Parents hear the term intermittent explosive disorder and automatically think, ‘That’s my kid!’” says Dr. Levy. “But most teen blow-ups are normal. It’s when they smash objects or threaten to harm someone that I would categorize their anger as problematic.”
Intermittent explosive disorder occurs in kids over age 6. To diagnose the disorder, psychiatrists look for these factors:
If you feel like the above statements ring true for your child, talk with their pediatrician. At the same time, warns Dr. Levy, take all safety concerns seriously.
Advertisement
“Never attempt to call a child’s bluff,” says Dr. Levy. “Yes, sometimes teenagers say things they don’t mean or say they want to hurt themselves or others. But you’re not in their head, so you must assume they are telling the truth.”
Your child’s pediatrician will want to rule out other reasons your teen may be exploding on the daily. For example, doctors might screen for drugs or alcohol, especially if you’ve noticed a drastic change from your child’s usual disposition. A mood disorder or sleep disturbance might also cause similar behaviors.
Once diagnosed, behavioral therapy is the first-line treatment for intermittent explosive disorder. Your child’s provider may also recommend medications. But whether or not your child has IED, some behavior-based approaches can help build impulse control and quell outbursts.
“Find ways to avoid power struggles, which lead to temper tantrums,” says Dr. Levy. “The biggest pitfall parents face is not validating a child’s emotions and brushing off their concerns as being petty.”
Get on your teen’s side with these tips:
Patiently guide your teen in learning that tantrum-ing is not acceptable behavior. “Model good behavior by staying calm and neutral,” says Dr. Levy. “And enforce the consequences for their behavior.”
Dr. Levy says punishing for the sake of punishment rarely works. Instead, find natural consequences that might inspire them to change their behavior. For example:
“Outbursts serve a function for teens with or without intermittent explosive disorder,” says Dr. Levy. “They might be seeking attention, the use of the car or a way to get out of a chore. But you can help teens find more efficient ways of asking for what they need.”
Help your teen find words to communicate what they’re feeling. You might say, “You seem mad. Is something stressing you out? Are you tired?” When you see mature behavior, reward it with praise. “Teenagers love to be told they’re mature, so point out when they handle things responsibly,” says Dr. Levy.
Advertisement
Dr. Levy offers a final pearl of wisdom for parents: “Parents should attend to their own health. It’s hard to be in a good place and calmly deal with a reactive teen if you aren’t taking care of yourself.”
Advertisement
Learn more about our editorial process.
Advertisement
Creating a pal in their mind can help children learn social skills, overcome fears and build creativity
Pediatric IBS treatment involves making dietary adjustments, getting mental health support and — in some cases — taking prescription medication
Setting specific expectations and praising good behavior are crucial to cultivating discipline
‘Active shooter’ exercises may raise both awareness and anxiety
Advances in technology and medications have made the process safer than ever
Integrating coping skills into your teen’s daily routine helps turn self-care into a lifelong healthy habit
Tantrums and meltdowns are normal, but you can help your child manage their bigger emotions
Talking in the car, resisting the urge to judge and asking specific questions can help rebuild rapport
Focus on your body’s metabolic set point by eating healthy foods, making exercise a part of your routine and reducing stress
PFAS chemicals may make life easier — but they aren’t always so easy on the human body
While there’s little risk in trying this hair care treatment, there isn’t much science to back up the claims