What Is an Introvert? Common Traits and Misconceptions

You’ve seen the personality tests. Scanned the titles on the bookshelves (probably in the self-help section). Heard others proclaim their personality type.

But if you’re still confused about what (and who) an introvert is, you’re not alone.

• Is your brother an introvert? Is that why he didn’t want to go to the game with you last week?
• Is your child? Is that why they’re having trouble making friends?
• Are you? Is that why that cocktail party with your spouse’s coworkers was oh-so-awkward?

Maybe. And maybe not.

After all, there’s a wide range of reasons why people are the way they are. Why they do the things they do.

So, trying to box up the complexity of human experience and behavior and label it “introvert stuff” isn’t necessarily the whole story.

Even still, understanding personality types can help us start to unravel why we do the things we do and feel the way we feel.

And why others do, too.

We talked with psychologist Darrielle Allen, PhD, about what it means to be an introvert — and what it doesn’t.

What’s an introvert?

An introvert is a person who’s primarily energized by internal, rather than external, sources.

“Being an introvert means you gain more energy and a sense of fulfillment from solitude or quiet, low-stimulation environments,” Dr. Allen explains. “Introverts tend to value introspection and reflection. They typically approach life thoughtfully and deliberately.”

Contrast that with extroverts, who are energized by being in social situations and crave external stimulation from the people, places and things around them.

It’s a matter of preference.

It’s not that being introverted means you can’t deal with groups of people or that you can’t speak up. It doesn’t mean you’re shy. Or antisocial. Or lacking confidence. Or lonely. It just means that, given the choice, you prefer a more inward-facing experience.

“Introverts can get labeled as being anxious. Or people may think they’re not friendly,” Dr. Allen elaborates. “But introversion and extroversion are simply about energy management. Where do you get your energy and how does that influence your social experience?”

Think of human personality as lying somewhere on a spectrum.

One end point is introversion. The other end is its opposite: extroversion. Square in the middle is ambiversion. And there’s a whole lot of space in between.

So, while introverts may not necessarily enjoy public speaking or networking events or working on group projects, they certainly can do them. It’s just not where they may feel like their most authentic selves.

Four types of introverts

On the introverted side of the spectrum are a number of types that attempt to describe introverts’ behavior and preferences.

Different personality tests define them in different ways. What they all have in common is a natural inclination toward inward reflection.

There are four commonly described types of introverts:

1. Social introverts may sound like an oxymoron, but this type describes people who are introverted yet tend to seek out meaningful connections with other people. “Social introverts may have a little more outgoing energy than other introvert types. But they still thrive on introspection,” Dr. Allen points out. They often prefer small group settings (say dinner at their home with a few friends) over large group settings (like a night out at a popular club).
2. Thinking introverts are immersed in their inner world. They tend to be daydreamers, engage in deep reflection and are highly imaginative. “Thinking introverts can make meaning from things that others may not even notice,” Dr. Allen notes. “They can find beauty in the way the light reflects off a piece of trash.”
3. Anxious introverts can be more wary of social situations. They may feel uneasy in groups and often replay interactions with others to derive meaning and insight.
4. Inhibited introverts tend to be reserved and deliberate. They often think very carefully before speaking or acting.

Introvert personality traits

Introverts tend to feel most comfortable and energized when they’ve had ample time and space to tend to their inner thoughts and feelings.

That can look different on everyone. But if you or someone you know tends to lean toward introversion, you may notice certain tendencies.

Dr. Allen shares some of the most common traits among introverts and how they may manifest in your day to day.

Need for solitude

After spending time at a big party or following a long day of meetings, introverts are more likely to feel tapped out.

Maybe not physically tired. But mentally and emotionally taxed.

Rather than going for happy hour or hitting the after-party, introverts may prefer to take some “me-time” to recharge.

Small inner circle

Introverts are more likely to build a small, intimate social network. Not a larger, more superficial one. They tend to keep their loved ones close and nurture their relationships with a select few.

Introverts are also more likely to prefer one-on-one conversations with people they know well over casual group settings. At parties, introverts don’t typically seek out opportunities to meet new people.

Listening and observing

Some people find it comfortable to speak or act on the spot. Not introverts.

They’re more likely to listen and reflect than to blurt out what comes to mind immediately. They may practice their response before saying it out loud.

For example, in a group brainstorming meeting, the introverts on the team are less likely to “get the ball rolling” and are more likely to speak only after crafting a more fully considered response.

“Introverts often listen more than they speak,” Dr. Allen states. “They often prefer observing and processing, taking in what others are saying before offering their thoughts.”

Avoiding overstimulation

Planning a fun weekend for an introvert? Consider keeping it on the low-key side.

Sure, some introverts may enjoy going to a concert here and there. But would it be the thing they’d most want to do? Probably not.

“Busy, noisy environments can feel overwhelming for introverts,” Dr. Allen says.

Introverts tend to gravitate to quieter environments with a group of well-known people. Instead of making reservations at that trendy place with the loud music, throw a backyard BBQ with their besties. Have a game night. Take a hike or a drive through a nature preserve.

What causes introversion?

Your personality, including a tendency toward introversion, is likely a matter of both nature and nurture.

You’re innately wired to prefer certain things. And you’ll continue to grow and change throughout your life.

“Personality is fluid,” Dr. Allen explains. “It’s influenced by our life experiences, our environment and even personal growth over time. An introvert might develop strong social skills through exposure to group settings. They can learn to thrive in certain public roles. We adapt to different life stages or challenges.”

So, while you may be naturally more inclined toward introversion, it’s not necessarily set in stone.

That’s why Dr. Allen suggests using personality tests (things like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Big Five personality test) as but one tool to understanding your personality — and others’.

“These tests can provide useful insights, but they’re not necessarily definitive,” she adds. “No test can perfectly categorize someone. We’re humans. We’re complex and multidimensional.”

And because your personality can be influenced by your life experiences and growth, those test results can shift over time.

“Personality tests might help put some things into perspective for you, but self-reflection is equally important,” Dr. Allen says.

So, think about where you’re your best self. If it’s spending time enjoying your own company or that of a few key people, you might be an introvert. Same if you prefer to hear others out before offering your own opinions and solutions.

Wherever you fall on that spectrum, know that it’s a thing of beauty. It’s you. And it’s awesome.