Advertisement
Learn how to handle your child’s make-believe pals
Parents want their children to have good friends. But what if that friend exists only in your child’s mind?
Advertisement
Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Policy
Clinical psychologist Kate Eshleman, PsyD, cares for children and adolescents. She has some reassuring news about imaginary friends — and what you should do if your child has conjured up a companion.
As a child, having an imaginary friend is normal. And not having an imaginary friend? Also normal. “A little over half of all children have an imaginary friend or playmate at some point,” says Dr. Eshleman. “But if they don’t have one, that’s fine too. It depends on the child.”
You might assume that only very young children have imaginary friends, but research has shown that older kids have imaginary pals, too. “It’s common with children up to age 12,” says Dr. Eshleman.
Imaginary friends can be figments of your child’s imagination. Or the friend might be a stuffed animal or toy that they role-play with. Either way, it’s a normal part of childhood for many kids.
Little Emma talks to her stuffed bear regularly. Does that mean she’s feeling stressed or alone?
Dr. Eshleman says not to worry. “Children might use an imaginary friend to replay or work through things they experience in life,” she explains. “It’s a way to help them practice social skills and process things they see. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your child.”
It might feel awkward when your child discusses their imaginary friend with you. But Dr. Eshleman says it’s good for parents to play along.
“Treat your child’s imaginary friend like any other friend,” advises Dr. Eshleman. “Ask your child what their friend’s name is. Or talk to them about what they did with their friend today.”
Maybe your child wants their imaginary friend to have a place at the dinner table. This is OK, too, but you don’t have to take it to extremes. “Don’t give the imaginary friend the last portion of food that someone else would eat,” Dr. Eshleman says. “But if it’s not hurting anyone else, it’s perfectly fine to allow their friend to have a place at dinner.”
If your child is especially creative, their interactions with their imaginary friend can be quite convincing. How can you be sure your child still understands reality?
“The evidence suggests that kids know their imaginary friends aren’t real,” Dr. Eshleman says. “They may talk about them as if they’re real, but they’re aware that it’s make-believe.”
But to be safe, talk to your pediatrician if your child:
Advertisement
A quick check-in with your pediatrician can put your mind at ease. “Remember that you’ll see some behavior changes as your child grows, and this is normal,” says Dr. Eshleman. “But if you’re not sure, it never hurts to ask.”
If your child has an imaginary friend, you can reap the benefits, too. After all, an imaginary friend is an awesome listener who’s always available to your child.
“When you’re busy with other tasks, your child can chat with their imaginary friend,” says Dr. Eshleman. “It can keep a child occupied, and that helps the parents out, too. And studies have shown that children who have imaginary friends often grow up to be highly creative adults.”
Advertisement
Learn more about our editorial process.
Advertisement
Setting specific expectations and praising good behavior are crucial to cultivating discipline
‘Active shooter’ exercises may raise both awareness and anxiety
Stay calm, don’t give in and try to refocus their attention
Integrating coping skills into your teen’s daily routine helps turn self-care into a lifelong healthy habit
Tantrums and meltdowns are normal, but you can help your child manage their bigger emotions
Talking in the car, resisting the urge to judge and asking specific questions can help rebuild rapport
Yes, it’s safe for babies starting at about 9 months old and can help clear nasal mucus
Local LGBT centers, online directories, visual cues and gender-affirming care or non-discrimination policies can all be helpful resources and cues
Focus on your body’s metabolic set point by eating healthy foods, making exercise a part of your routine and reducing stress
PFAS chemicals may make life easier — but they aren’t always so easy on the human body
While there’s little risk in trying this hair care treatment, there isn’t much science to back up the claims