If you’re a parent with cancer and have school-age children, it might be a good time to start thinking about having a talk with your child’s teachers, counselors or school administrator about your cancer.
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It might feel daunting or even overwhelming to divulge such personal information to your child’s school personnel. Staff doesn’t need all of the details about your illness and treatment. But providing them with enough information to understand what your child is going through can go far says pediatric psychologist, Kate Eshleman, PsyD
If you feel this conversation might be too much for you, talk with your spouse, another parent who has gone through this situation or the social worker at your cancer center about having this important discussion with the school staff.
There are several good reasons to talk with the people who are with your child for the majority of the day.
When you meet with your child’s teacher, ask them to be your partner in keeping your child’s life as normal as possible. Also, be sure to talk with the school guidance counselor. They have special training and expertise that can help your child deal with circumstances at home.
Some children, especially teenagers, may not want you to talk to their teachers. This may stem from a worry about being different from their peers. And younger children should not have to shoulder adult worries. So consider talking to the teacher in private – if you cannot arrange a face-to-face meeting, at least communicate by email or phone.
Later, let your children know that you have spoken with the teacher. This can pave the way for future conversations. Let your child know their teacher is there if they need them and already knows the situation.
Don’t hesitate to make specific requests of your child’s teachers. For example, if you find that your child is forgetting to do her homework, know that it’s alright to ask the teacher for a little extra support because your child might be distracted or needs time with you. Or your child may find a homework assignment, such as reading a book about a parent having cancer, too painful to complete.
Your child’s teachers and school staff can be powerful partners as you move through cancer treatment and beyond. Give them the information they need to help your child as much as they can.
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