How To Recognize and Deal With Peer Pressure

Just give it a try. Everybody else is.

Odds are you’ve heard those words or something similar during your life. They’re a classic example of peer pressure, or when someone tries to manipulate your behavior.

This pull to go along with others can be a powerful force. Sometimes, that can be a good thing. Other times, it can pave a path to trouble.

So, how can you deal with peer pressure to ensure you make the best choices for you? We asked psychiatrist Hannah Snyder, MD, to explain the benefits and risks of peer pressure and how to handle it.

What is peer pressure?

“Peer pressure occurs when others attempt to influence your decisions,” explains Dr. Snyder. “It can be done in a very gentle, subtle way or it can be more intense, aggressive or even bullying.”

The pressure to conform and follow along with others tends to hit hardest during adolescence and teenage years, when fitting in at school and fear of rejection take on heightened importance.

But peer pressure can affect you at any age when you’re interacting with other people.

“I think most of us expect that we’re going to run across peer pressure less often as adults, but it still happens,” says Dr. Snyder. “You really can get blindsided by it, which can make it a challenge to deal with.”

Despite “peer pressure” having a negative connotation, it can also be beneficial to you. It just depends on what’s being asked of you.

Positive peer pressure

While peer pressure often gets a bad rap given its pull to the dark side, it can lead you to the light, too. A gentle nudge from someone can serve as motivation to better yourself in some way, says Dr. Snyder.

“Positive peer pressure can move you toward a healthier outcome,” she notes.

Examples of positive peer pressure

Real-life examples of positive peer pressure could include being encouraged to:

• Enter a 5K race or start an exercise program.
• Sign up for a class.
• Volunteer for a charity.
• Establish a healthier eating routine.
• Welcome others into a group.
• Avoid or limit alcohol (like Dry January).

Negative peer pressure

We’re taught what’s “right” or “wrong” at an early age, and these values guide us as we go through life. Negative peer pressure occurs when someone tries to nudge you into doing something that goes against your beliefs.

“It’s a type of peer pressure that can push you toward risky behavior that you’re uncomfortable with,” emphasizes Dr. Snyder.

Examples of negative peer pressure

Real-life examples of negative peer pressure could include being prodded to:

• Drink alcohol or experiment with drugs.
• Steal, vandalize property or do some other illegal act.
• Cover up mistakes by a friend or co-worker.
• Harass, mock or exclude others.
• Engage in dangerous activities (like jumping off something or driving at excessive speeds).
• Engage in sexual activities.

Tips to handle peer pressure

Negative peer pressure can put you in an uncomfortable position. Dr. Snyder offers these tips to deal with being goaded into doing something you don’t want to do.

• Follow your gut. You know what’s right for you. Stand firm when others try to convince you to do what you know is wrong. “It might not be easy,” she recognizes, “but you’ll feel better in the long term if you stay true to yourself.”
• Speak up. Respond definitively and assertively to peer pressure to try to put a halt to it. “Share your viewpoint,” recommends Dr. Snyder. “You might find that others are more understanding of your decision than you’d expect.”
• Find other options. Look for alternatives to what you’re being pressured to do. If you don’t want to drink alcohol but are being prodded to grab a beer or cocktail, for instance, look for a nonalcoholic option.
• Remove yourself from the situation. If you feel like staying put is too risky given the tone and direction of peer pressure, don’t be afraid to walk away. “Removing yourself from the situation can be a very protective option and a great way to keep yourself safe,” says Dr. Snyder.

If you continually find yourself being pressured to do things you don’t want to do by a certain person or group, you might want to reconsider how much time you spend around them.

“Surrounding yourself with people who share similar values may help limit negative peer pressure in your life,” suggests Dr. Snyder. “Finding a supportive peer group might even be a way to experience the benefits of positive peer pressure, too.”