When and How To Sleep Train Your Baby

You can’t take the sleepless nights anymore. You’re so delirious from lack of shut-eye that you could cry (and maybe you have). So, you’re starting to wonder if it’s officially time to sleep train your baby.

But you’re worried. Is your baby old enough? What techniques work best? And how long will it actually take?

Pediatrician Noah Schwartz, MD, offers sleep training advice for exhausted parents and caregivers.

What is sleep training?

In its simplest form, sleep training is the process of teaching your baby to fall asleep by themselves — whether that’s at the very beginning of the night when they’re first put into their crib, or when they wake up in the middle of the night and need to fall back to sleep.

“Essentially, you’re getting your baby to realize that they can put themselves to sleep or self-soothe,” Dr. Schwartz explains. “It’s a development skill that all babies need to learn.”

Unsurprisingly, sleep training translates to more sleep for parents and other caregivers. But is it safe and healthy for your little one? After all, your sister’s best friend’s cousin told you that sleep training is bad for babies, and now you don’t know what to believe.

Take comfort in the science: Ample long-term research has studied sleep training, and there isn’t any evidence to show that sleep training is physically or psychologically damaging to babies and children. On the contrary, it’s been shown to:

• Improve parents’ mood
• Improve infants’ sleep quality
• Increase the secure attachment between babies and their caregivers

As long as your baby is old enough and in a safe environment, sleep training is perfectly safe and healthy — no matter which method you choose.

When to start sleep training

Dr. Schwartz says babies are often ready to begin sleep training at about 4 months old.

“At this age, babies are typically old enough to learn to self-soothe, and they may no longer require night feedings,” he adds. “It’s also around this time that your baby’s sleep cycles begin to mature, and their circadian rhythm starts to take effect.” (Circadian rhythm is the hormonal cycle that regulates our sleep-wake cycles.)

Of course, every baby is different. Some babies can start sleep training slightly earlier than 4 months, while other babies do better a little later, like around the 6-month mark. Just don’t try to sleep train your newborn: They have short sleep cycles and can’t yet make it through the night without eating. They also don’t yet know how to self-soothe.

If you’re not sure whether your baby is old enough or ready, check with your pediatrician first.

Sleep training methods

The goal of sleep training is to teach your little one that they’re capable of falling asleep independently. You want your baby to be able to fall asleep on their own without needing to be rocked or soothed by you.

There are a few popular methods and techniques for sleep training babies. You may want to stick with one or pull from a few of them.

“Oftentimes, sleep training techniques overlap, and parents combine methods, which is perfectly fine,” Dr. Schwartz assures. “It’s all about figuring out what your infant responds to and what works best for you as a parent.”

He outlines some of the most common sleep training approaches.

The cry-it-out method (CIO)

Perhaps one of the most famously known techniques, this method is often synonymous with sleep training.

The cry-it-out method, also known as the extinction method, involves putting your baby to bed when they’re tired but still awake, helping them learn the skill of putting themselves to sleep on their own. As the name indicates, your baby may cry in the process of learning this new skill (though, it’s certainly not a requirement).

How to do it. Before putting your baby to bed, make sure they’ve eaten, that they have a clean diaper and that their crib is safe. After that, once you say goodnight, you won’t pick them up or take them out of the crib until morning, or until their next scheduled night feed.

A key part of CIO is not taking your baby out of their crib — so for the cry-it-out method to work, consistency is critical, and all caregivers need to be on board.

What else to know. “This method is probably the most difficult for parents, but it often works the quickest,” Dr. Schwartz notes. “The first couple of nights are typically the roughest because your baby is used to falling asleep with assistance. It may take them a night or two to learn that they can do it on their own, but it should improve quickly after that.”

The Ferber method

If you can’t bear the idea of letting your little one cry themselves to sleep, this gentler technique may be right for you. The Ferber method (named for Dr. Richard Ferber, who developed it) is a popular sleep training technique that allows you to acknowledge or reassure your baby by doing timed interval check-ins throughout the night.

You might hear this technique called other names, too:

• Graduated extinction
• Controlled crying
• Progressive waiting
• The interval method
• The check and console method

How to do it. When your infant is tired but still awake (sensing a theme here?), place them in their crib, say goodnight and leave the room. You will then re-enter the room at designated intervals to check in on your baby, but you still should not pick them up.

For example, after putting your baby down, check in at three minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes and so forth. You can briefly say a soothing word or two to your baby (for example, telling them you love them, that they’re doing a great job), but don’t linger for too long.

“The time between each interval should get longer, which teaches your baby that you’re always there to support them and make them feel safe,” Dr. Schwartz explains. “Increase the time between check-ins each night.”

What else to know. Some babies benefit from the timed check-ins, while others become more upset seeing their parents come and go. Many caregivers combine CIO and the Ferber method, depending on their baby’s needs.

The chair method

This sleep training method involves — you guessed it! — a chair. It also involves lots of patience and time. It’s similar to the Ferber method in that it focuses on gradual intervals, but the difference is that you stay in your baby’s room until they fall asleep each night.

It’s also called:

• The fading method
• Camping out
• The sit back method

How to do it. Put your baby in their crib while they’re drowsy, and then, sit in a chair next to them. Stay there until they fall asleep, and then, quietly leave the room — but if they begin to cry, come back in and sit in the chair nearby. Every few nights, move the chair back farther until you’re eventually out of the room.

You don’t need a chair to do the chair method. You can also stand in your baby’s room, moving closer and closer toward the door each night.

What else to know. “This method can be tough on the parent because it can be hard to just sit there until your baby falls asleep, especially if they start to fuss or cry,” Dr. Schwartz recognizes. It may also distract or confuse your baby to see you there.

The pick up, put down method

This approach takes patience (and perhaps the most time), but it typically makes sleep training feel easier on parents.

How to do it. “The idea is that you can provide direct physical comfort to your baby by picking them up and putting them down when they begin to cry or fuss during the night,” Dr. Schwartz clarifies. But be sure you don’t linger when you pick them up. Go in, pick them up and soothe them so they settle down, but then, put them back in the crib and leave the room.

What else to know. It’s common to combine this method with the Ferber method — checking in on your baby at timed intervals and picking them up to console them as needed.

Bedtime fading

This isn’t sleep training as much as it’s a technique to change your baby’s bedtime to a different time. The idea is to gradually “fade” your baby into a new sleep schedule that better suits their body’s natural rhythms.

“For example, if you typically put your baby down around 7 p.m. but they cry for about 30 minutes in their crib, it’s likely that their natural bedtime, or their circadian rhythm, is closer to 7:30 p.m.,” Dr. Schwartz illustrates.

How to do it. If you’d like to move up your baby’s natural bedtime, begin shifting bedtime by 15 minutes each night until you’ve reached the desired time.

What else to know. This technique is often used in combination with other sleep training methods to get your baby on a better sleep schedule.

What about night weaning?

For months, you’ve likely woken up several times a night to feed your little one. But sleep training is different from night weaning, which is when you transition your baby away from waking up in the evening (or in the wee hours of the morning) to feed.

“Night weaning is making sure your baby eats their meals during the day so they don’t have to wake up to eat in the middle of the night anymore,” Dr. Schwartz explains.

You can sleep train and night wean at the same time. In fact, sleep training sometimes leads to a drop-off in overnight feedings simply because your baby will learn to fall back asleep on their own.

Night weaning is safe as long as your baby is healthy and at an appropriate weight. But if your baby needs to gain weight or has other medical conditions, you might need to continue night feeding, even during or after sleep training. Talk to your pediatrician if you have questions about whether it’s time to night wean your baby.

Tips for sleep training your baby

No matter what method you try, sleep training takes both practice and patience. These tips can help both you and your baby make the transition.

Time it right

All sleep methods recommend starting when your baby is tired but not yet asleep, so it’s important to learn to tune into your baby’s sleep cues.

Wind down for bed when they’re showing signs like:

• Yawning
• Rubbing their eyes
• Tugging their ears
• Turning away from stimuli, like faces and toys

Establish a bedtime routine

Getting your baby ready for bed is just as important as the actual sleep training itself. And often, a good bedtime routine transfers over into kids’ ability to self-soothe.

“Newborns (and even toddlers) have no real concept of time, so when you develop a bedtime routine, it starts to get them in the mindset of recognizing what’s about to happen,” Dr. Schwartz shares. “Kids will start to associate their nighttime routine with learning to relax and winding down for bedtime.”

A good nighttime routine may include:

• Feeding them
• Giving them a bath
• Reading a book
• Brushing their teeth

Don’t respond to every little cry or noise

No matter what sleep training method you use, there’s likely to be some crying or fussing involved. But as long as your baby is sleeping in a safe place, try not to panic over every little sound.

“It’s important to give your baby the space to learn this important new skill,” Dr. Schwartz advises. Your future self will thank you when you’ve made it to the other side of sleep training!

Some methods won’t work for you — and that’s OK

It might take some trial and error to figure out a method that you, your partner and your baby are comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to bail on a method that doesn’t seem to be working for you — and remember that it’s OK to combine elements of a few methods, if needed.

“Often, sleep training has more to do with the parent and less to do with the baby,” Dr. Schwartz notes. “Caregivers should know their personality and limits when they begin sleep training.”

Once you find a method you’re comfortable with, commit to a consistent sleep training method and schedule — one that you and your partner agree on and don’t break from. Agree to be consistent for at least one week, which will give your baby a chance to learn and hone the skill of falling asleep on their own.

Don’t confuse self-soothing with sleeping through the night

You might assume that sleep training your child will result in them sleeping through the night — but that’s not necessarily the case.

A baby who sleeps through the night without sleep training doesn’t necessarily have self-soothing skills. A baby who’s gone through sleep training has learned self-soothing skills but may still wake up in the night.

In fact, Dr. Schwartz says he prefers to use the term “self-soothing” to “sleep training” to help make that distinction — because sleep training your child just means teaching them the self-soothing skills that will help them fall back to sleep if they do wake up during the night.

“There’s a difference between sleep training and having your child sleep through the night, but people often lump them together,” he continues. “Sometimes, self-soothing and a good night’s sleep come together, but they’re two different expectations that parents need to have when they begin the sleep training process.”

Trust yourself

“Babies can pick up on their caregivers’ emotions,” Dr. Schwartz says. “If you feel confident throughout the process, your baby is more likely to feel that way, too.”

When it comes to sleep training, or anything else for that matter, never hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician for any advice or help