What Is the Cry-It-Out Method for Babies?

The crying starts moments after you lay your baby down to sleep. Then, the wails grow louder … and louder … and then, somehow, even LOUDER.

So, what’s your next move?

You may want to run in immediately and scoop up your little one for a comforting hug to make everything better. On the other hand, you’ve also heard about the potential benefit of letting your baby “cry it out” until they fall asleep.

Deciding what to do can be difficult, especially given that you’re probably exhausted and barely functioning from your own lack of sleep.

Pediatricians Heidi Szugye, DO, IBCLC, and Noah Schwartz, MD, explain the cry-it-out method — and what you may want to try instead.

Understanding the cry-it-out method of sleep training

The cry-it-out (CIO) method, also known as the extinction method (or “unmodified extinction”) is one of a few sleep training techniques that can help babies learn to fall asleep on their own.

The gist is this: Rather than answering your little one’s crying call as soon as it goes out, you give them the opportunity to independently work it out and nod off. This method isn’t intended to be cruel; it’s meant to be used as an intentional tool to teach your baby self-soothing techniques that will stick with them for life.

“The cry-it-out method is almost like going cold turkey,” Dr. Schwartz says. “You put your baby in their crib, say goodnight and shut the door.”

The idea is that jumping into action for every single outburst establishes a pattern that could eventually be hard to break. You don’t want your baby to become reliant on your response just so that they can drift off to dreamland.

But closing the door doesn’t mean clocking out on parent duties for the night. Dr. Schwartz warns that the cry-it-out method isn’t a fit for everyone. It can be especially difficult for parents or caregivers who haven’t yet learned the meaning of their baby’s different cries.

“None of this is an endorsement to shut the door and call it a day or to neglect your child in any way,” he clarifies. “You still have to pay close attention. It’s very important to stay attuned to what your baby needs.”

How to do the cry-it-out method

The CIO method is pretty much what it sounds like, but there’s more to it than just leaving your baby to weep and wail. To start, be sure your baby is old enough to begin trying to fall asleep solo — around 4 to 6 months of age.

“That’s generally the time where babies can go to sleep by themselves, when they have the capacity to self-soothe and calm themselves,” Dr. Schwartz says.

Here’s your step-by-step guide to the cry-it-out method.

Get everyone on board

Before you start sleep training, make sure all of your baby’s caregivers are on the same page: you, your partner, grandparents, the nanny or babysitter, etc.

Talk through your process and your timeframes. What will your baby’s bedtime routine look like? What time will it begin each night? And if they wail when you try to put them down, how long will you wait before you check on them?

“Everyone has to be in agreement about following the chosen method,” Dr. Schwartz stresses, “because if one person breaks, the sleep training just can’t work as well.”

Make sure baby is sleepy

Pay attention to your little one’s sleepy cues, like yawning, eye-rubbing and ear-pulling. They also may get a little clingy and stop interacting.

“When you start noticing these things, you’ll want to get them into their sleep environment,” says Dr. Szugye. “If you wait until they’re overly tired, they can cry and cry and cry, and it becomes difficult to get them to wind down and sleep.”

Create a consistent nighttime routine

Set the tone for a good night’s sleep by setting a consistent nap or bedtime routine for your little one. This may include:

• Changing your baby’s diaper
• Feeding your baby
• Giving your baby a bath
• Reading a book

If you follow the same routine every night, your baby will start to understand that lying down in their crib and falling asleep is just another part of the routine.

“This routine sets them up for when you decide to stop helping them fall asleep,” Dr. Schwartz adds. “Then, even if you shut the door on a crying baby, they still know, ‘This is when I'm supposed to go to sleep.’”

Meet all of their needs before bed

Before you put your baby to bed, make sure they have a clean diaper and a full belly and that they’re otherwise ready for sleep.

“I always tell families to cycle through all the motions,” Dr. Schwartz says. “Is the baby dry? Is the baby fed? Are they not too hot and not too cold? Check on all of these things before you put them to bed.”

Say goodnight (but stay alert)

When it comes time for bed, put your baby in their crib, say your goodnights and then, quietly leave the room. But from there, it could get a little tough, depending on how willing your little one is to drift off to sleep.

It can be really, really hard on you, as a caregiver, to listen to your favorite tiny person weep and wail without responding, especially if they don’t nod off quickly.

“Some babies cry for just a few minutes before they fall asleep,” Dr. Schwartz notes, “but other babies can go for hours.” A few minutes can be heart-wrenching enough. So, what if your baby falls into the latter category?

The main tenet of the cry-it-out method is that you don’t respond to your baby’s cries as they try to fall asleep. But it’s important to follow your instincts so you can tell if something is wrong. After all, crying is your baby’s main form of communicating with you.

“You have to use your intuition as a parent,” he adds. “If the pitch of their crying has changed, or if it's dragging on for a long time, you should definitely go in and check in on your child.”

Is the cry-it-out method bad for babies?

Some parents and healthcare providers feel that the CIO method is too rigid and mean — and stressful for both parents and babies. But it’s important to note up front: The cry-it-out method has not been found to be harmful to babies.

“There is no evidence to show that children have any social-emotional issues or resentment toward their parents later in life for letting them cry for a few minutes at nighttime,” Dr. Schwartz reassures.

Still, that doesn’t mean it’s right for your family. Like other sleep training methods, the cry-it-out method has both pros and cons. Let’s take a look.

Benefits of the cry-it-out method

There are two big benefits to this sleep training method:

• Quick results. Of all the sleep training methods, this one usually works the fastest. “If done well, the cry-it-out method can extinguish bedtime crying very quickly,” Dr. Schwartz says, “as opposed to some of the other methods, which are a bit more parentally involved and may take more time.”
• Helps parents, too. Speedy results are good for the whole family, including your sleep-deprived self. “Better sleep means an improved quality of life for the parent,” he adds. “Being able to sleep allows you to be a better caregiver.”

Downsides of the cry-it-out method

The biggest downside of this sleep training method is that it can be difficult for parents to follow. After all, as a caregiver, you’re supposed to tend to your child when they need you — so, listening to them cry without responding can feel agonizing.

A 2006 review by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine shared: “The major drawback of unmodified extinction procedures is that it is stressful for parents. Many parents are unable to ignore crying long enough for the procedure to be effective.”

Because of the rigidity of this sleep training method, both Dr. Schwartz and Dr. Szugye are proponents of a slightly softer version of the cry-it-out technique.

“I recommend setting a time limit,” Dr. Schwartz says. “If, after X amount of time, your child is shrieking, it’s time to get in and reset.”

Dr. Szugye agrees: “If the baby goes to bed crying or wakes up crying for a few minutes, you can wait and see if they go back to sleep,” she says. “But if not, it’s good to go check on them to make sure nothing worrisome is going on.”

When to stop or modify the cry-it-out method

If you’re put off by the super-strict route with the cry-it-out method, there’s a gentler option: A modification called “graduated extinction.” The most popular example of this sleep training technique is called the Ferber method.

With this approach, you slowly increase how long you wait to respond to your crying baby.

“Gradually let them cry a little longer,” Dr. Szugye advises. “If you wait two minutes that first night, maybe make it three or four minutes a few nights later and keep extending it from there.”

This concept fosters comfort and bonding as your child learns how to self-soothe. Eventually, your baby will learn to fall asleep on their own, without a visit.

What if your baby just won’t sleep?

As any sleep-deprived parent knows all too well, bedtime can be a struggle for babies. Talk to your pediatrician or a pediatric sleep specialist if sleeping issues snowball and start interfering with your or your baby’s ability to be fully awake during the day.

“Your child will eventually get past any troubles and learn to sleep,” encourages Dr. Szugye. “And that means you’ll be able to sleep again, too.”