When To Start Preschool: Age and Other Considerations

Starting preschool is one of those big-kid moments that you can’t help but get a little misty-eyed about. For a lot of kids, preschool is one of their first windows into independence, and it’s a big deal.

You want to set them up for success, but how do you know if your child is truly ready for this milestone? Are they old enough for preschool? Mature enough?

Pediatrician Lisa Diard, MD, shares advice about preschool-age and readiness.

Typical preschool age: Between 3 and 5

Many children start preschool between the ages of 3 and 5. That’s typically around the age that most kids are developmentally ready for a classroom setting. And starting preschool in that timeframe means they can have a year or more to practice for kindergarten.

But not all kids are ready to be enrolled in preschool the day they’re eligible. That’s normal. And it’s worth paying attention to.

“There’s no magic age for preschool. It’s less about a specific age and more about your child’s development,” Dr. Diard clarifies.

Signs your child is preschool-ready

Perhaps more important than age alone is considering whether your child is actually ready for preschool.

Do they have the emotional, physical and behavioral maturity to thrive? Dr. Diard shares some skills that can be clues as to whether your child is ready for preschool.

1. They can separate from you with minimal distress

A certain degree of separation anxiety is normal and expected for young kids. For a lot of kids, it’s even a good thing — a sign of a secure attachment to their parents and caregivers.

But kids who are ready for preschool should be able to overcome the fear, worries and tears that come with being away from you within a few minutes.

“If your child can separate from you with minimal distress, or they can be redirected when upset, that’s a good sign they’re ready,” Dr. Diard explains.

Preschool means spending at least a few hours apart. Your child’s ability to say “good-bye” without it being an overwhelmingly emotional event is an important sign to look for when deciding if they’re preschool-ready.

2. They’re starting to play with other kids

Preschool gives kids plenty of chances to practice group play and teamwork. Kids who have some experience sharing, taking turns and just being around other children their age can be better prepared for that.

“You don’t need your child to have perfect social skills,” Dr. Diard points out. “But if they’re starting to interact with peers — even just parallel play (when children play near each other without directly interacting) — that’s encouraging.”

3. They can follow simple directions

Preschool emphasizes structure and group routines. Kids who are ready for preschool will be able to go with that flow.

“If your child can follow one- or two-step directions like Hang up your coat or Sit on the rug, they’ll be able to participate more fully,” Dr. Diard notes.

4. They’re interested in exploring and learning

There’s a reason people joke about little kids and their obsession asking Why. Preschool can help them start to find some answers to all those burning questions — if they’re ready to hear them.

“Curiosity is a great sign,” Dr. Diard says. “If your child asks questions, wants to try new things or enjoys picture books, preschool can help nurture that.”

5. They can use the bathroom

Some preschools require your child to be fully potty-trained. But not always.

Generally, kids who are ready for preschool will be able to use the bathroom on their own or with minimal help. Ideally, that includes:

• Telling an adult when they have to go
• Undressing and redressing themselves
• Wiping
• Washing their hands after using the bathroom

What happens if you start too early — or too late?

Preschool can help kids build important social, emotional and learning skills. And if enrolling is an option for you and your child, most kids can benefit from some classroom experience before entering kindergarten.

That said, earlier isn’t always better.

“If your child isn’t developmentally ready, they might feel overwhelmed and anxious or build some negative associations with school,” Dr. Diard says.

But delaying can have its downsides, too. Kids who are ready for the stimulation of a classroom full of new friends and new opportunities can get bored if they don’t get that experience. And they lose out on opportunities to practice kindergarten-readiness skills.

There’s no one right answer. Before you worry too much, take a breath. Starting preschool “too late” or “too soon” isn’t going to permanently derail your child. The stakes aren’t that high here. You can course correct if things aren’t working out as you had hoped.

If your child started preschool but isn’t adjusting well, you can shift to a part-time program. Or remove them from school for this year and try again later. If you didn’t start preschool at the beginning of the year but are thinking your child is ready, you can look for openings in other programs that may allow a mid-year entry.

Making the right choice

If you’re not sure if it’s time for preschool, talk with your child’s healthcare provider about your concerns. And visit preschools and ask how they support transitions and individual needs.

Above all, trust your gut.

“Listen to your instincts, and know there’s no perfect path,” Dr. Diard recommends. “The most important thing is making a choice that supports your child’s emotional and developmental needs and adjusting the plan as needed.”