Should You Try Therapy? How To Decide

We all have that friend who we turn to for advice and comfort. But your go-to person can’t hold a candle to a professional therapist.

If you’ve been under the assumption that therapy is only for people who’ve been through traumatic experiences, it’s time to reconsider. There’s always a place in your life for therapy.

Clinical psychologist Adam Borland, PsyD, shares 12 reasons why people go to therapy, and when it’s time to get help.

12 signs it’s time to try therapy

If you’re trying to figure out whether you need to see a therapist, remember this: Therapy is for anyone at any time, no justification necessary.

“There isn’t a right or wrong reason to engage in talk therapy,” Dr. Borland says. “It’s up to each individual to recognize their motivation to seek professional help.”

But when you’re feeling emotionally overloaded, you may have a hard time putting your finger on what it is exactly that you’re struggling with. To help you make sense of things, Dr. Borland offers up some of the most common reasons that people start therapy.

1. You need someone to talk to

Think this sounds like too basic of a reason to try therapy? It’s literally the core reason to try therapy — the umbrella reason that encompasses all the others, no matter what else is going on in your life.

If you feel like you need to talk through what you’re feeling and experiencing, then talk therapy is for you. Period.

2. You’re sad

“Having the blues” can range from being in a bit of a funk to living with depression. If you find yourself less happy or having less interest in activities you used to enjoy, a therapist can help.

“Feelings of sadness or anger, low energy, poor concentration and a loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy can all be signs of depression,” Dr. Borland says. And they’re all things that a therapist can help you work through.

3. You’re overwhelmed by stress

If life’s many stressors have you feeling overwhelmed and burned out, a therapist can help you learn to set boundaries, be more emotionally present and identify other healthy coping skills.

“We’re living in incredibly stressful times, and burnout is very prevalent,” Dr. Borland recognizes. “I often discuss with my patients the concept of their emotional and physical gas tanks being on empty, and the importance of finding healthy ways refill those tanks.”

4. You’re adjusting to a major life change

“Change is a constant in life, but we don’t always know how to adapt and deal with it,” notes Dr. Borland. A therapist can help you find a path forward when you’re navigating life changes like:

• A big move.
• A new job.
• A new health diagnosis.
• Becoming a parent.
• Going through a divorce.
• Graduating.
• Retirement.

Of course, not every big life change fits neatly into a little box or straightforward category. Maybe you’ve unearthed a major family secret or are trying to manage a complicated co-parenting plan with your ex and their new spouse. Even if you don’t see your life circumstances reflected in this list, know that they count, too — and a therapist can help you cope.

5. You’re worried about your behavior

Qualified therapists have the training and skills to help you deal with a variety of types of addiction, whether you’re concerned that you have a substance use disorder or a behavioral addiction, like:

• Overspending
• Gambling
• Pornography
• Video gaming

A therapist can also help you through mental health conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and eating disorders. When needed, they’ll help you connect with other resources, too, like psychiatrists, addiction specialists, support groups and more.

“Thankfully, the importance of mental health and mental health treatment is finally being openly discussed and destigmatized,” Dr. Borland states. “There's a tremendous need for mental health services these days, and people are seeking to engage in treatment at record numbers.”

6. You feel stuck

Sometimes, you just feel … well, stagnant. A therapist can help talk you through that.

“People often come to therapy because they feel stuck. My patients often tell me that while they don’t feel like they’re moving backward, they don’t feel like they’re moving forward either,” Dr. Borland shares. “If your wheels are spinning and you’re not progressing in your career, a relationship or with day-to-day goals, therapy is a way to sort through it.”

7. You feel inadequate

If you struggle with low self-esteem and are constantly comparing yourself to others, you may need help processing and overcoming those feelings.

“I see a lot of people who feel like they have shortcomings, often stemming from time spent on social media,” says Dr. Borland.

A therapist can help you build your confidence and defeat impostor syndrome. They can also help you learn to adopt healthier social media habits, if your time spent online is making you feel bad about yourself.

8. You’re coping with loss

Grief can make you feel like your world has stopped. Maybe you need help coming to terms with the death of a family member, a friend or even a beloved pet. Or you could be processing another type of loss, like the end of a job, relationship or friendship.

Whatever the case, a therapist can help.

“Unaddressed grief can take a big toll on mental health, leading to feelings like sadness, loneliness, guilt and anger,” Dr. Borland empathizes.

In therapy, you’ll learn healthy strategies for working through these painful emotions so you can move forward, while continuing to honor the people and life experiences you’ve lost.

9. You’re angry all the time

You don’t have to live with your anger.

“When men are depressed, they may be less likely to express sadness and more likely to express anger, irritability and aggression,” Dr. Borland explains. But of course, people of all sexes and genders can struggle with these emotions.

A trained therapist can help you reflect on and identify the root of your anger. They’ll also teach you ways to relax, re-channel your energy and better express yourself.

10. You’ve experienced a trauma

There’s no one way to heal from trauma, but therapy is a major piece of the puzzle that can help you move forward and prevent future mental, emotional and physical distress.

“Following a traumatic event, it’s important to process the experience and the feelings related to it with a mental health professional,” Dr. Borland urges.

11. You’re ruled by fear

We all experience fears — some rational and some not so much. But fear is real, whether you think you should be feeling it or not.

A therapist can help with general kinds of life fears, like, “I’m scared to leave my job because my current one is all I know, even though it makes me unhappy.” But they can also help with phobias — intense fear of and anxiety about certain situations or objects. Examples include:

• Arachnophobia (fear of spiders)
• Cynophobia (fear of dogs)
• Claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces)
• Emetophobia (fear of vomiting)

12. You’re caring for everyone but yourself

Dr. Borland says he often sees people who are caregivers by nature — people who do so much for others that they bump their own needs way down their priority list.

“When they come to me, they often apologize because they don’t feel it’s reasonable or warranted for them to be there — that there are other people in far worse situations than them” he relays. “In reality, it’s the exact opposite: It’s so important that they’re finally prioritizing their own mental health and well-being.”

Why people don’t go to therapy

According to Dr. Borland, there are four main reasons why people avoid therapy, and he offers his solutions for how to overcome the obstacles.

• Cost: “Many people don’t recognize that health insurance covers often therapy,” he says. “If yours doesn’t, ask the facility if they offer a sliding-scale fee.”
• Logistics: If transportation is an issue, ask your provider if they offer telehealth visits.
• Stigma: “While it’s certainly improving, unfortunately, there is still a stigma that therapy is only for certain people or situations,” Dr. Borland says, “but we need to keep fighting that stigma. If this were a medical condition — a broken bone, asthma, an allergic reaction — you wouldn’t hesitate to see a professional. There should be no difference when it comes to mental health.”

Is it really necessary to have a therapist?

We hear you saying to yourself, I already have friends and family. Why do I need a therapist, too? But hear us out.

“It’s essential to have a support network, but their opinions can be biased,” Dr. Borland points out. “Mental health professionals come from a place of wanting what’s best for you while looking at things from an objective standpoint. They emphasize skill-building and can provide tools to help you move forward.”

Therapy isn’t necessarily about “fixing” you, but more about helping you develop the ability to manage your experiences and expectations. You may learn, for example, how to change the lens through which you view things, focusing less on negativity and more on gratitude.

But therapy is a process, and it’s important to recognize that it can take some time for you to see results. It’s also crucial to find a therapist you feel comfortable opening up to — and if the connection isn’t there, it’s OK to seek out another professional.

“Your therapist wants what’s best for you,” Dr. Borland reassures, “and will understand if you need to switch providers.”