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Following routines, avoiding images and talking honestly, but age-appropriately, about what happened can help you and your family cope with a traumatic event
Hurricanes. Earthquakes. Wildfires. Floods. Blizzards. Tsunamis. No matter where you live, you’re likely to experience a natural disaster. Even if you avoid them, television and social media can bring destruction and trauma on the other side of the world straight into your living room.
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It’s enough to puncture anyone’s sense of safety.
Whether you’re grappling with the reality of a natural disaster or watching it unfold elsewhere, the impact it can have on your mental health is real. Psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD, shares tips for navigating the aftermath.
It’s normal to have strong, emotional reactions to tragic events, whether we’re living through them or watching them.
“The initial reaction that many people have is shock,” Dr. Albers notes.
You may be confused or surprised by how you respond to the devastation. Conflicting feelings — like fear and excitement or gratitude and contempt — can hit without warning. Nightmares can do the same. You may experience survivor’s guilt or be ashamed that you fared better than others. And even if you’ve never experienced anxiety or depression before, they may pop up, too.
It’s also possible you’ll find yourself numb to what’s going on around you. Whatever your body and mind’s reaction, remember: They’re trying to help.
“You may also experience stress in your body,” Dr. Albers adds. In the wake of a natural disaster, people often have physical symptoms like:
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It’s also possible you won’t experience any physical or psychological symptoms in the immediate aftermath of a natural disaster. They might never show up. But it’s more likely they’ll creep up on you later, when you aren’t busy making calls, rebuilding and focusing on the crisis.
And don’t be surprised, Dr. Albers says, if you’re hit with a wave of exhaustion weeks or months after the fact.
“People often feel high levels of fatigue after anxiously waiting for days as a slow-moving disaster like a hurricane or a fire approaches,” she explains. “It can be difficult to come down from that and relax after being on hyperalert for so long.”
Some symptoms of extreme stress — like shortness of breath, dizziness and chest pain — can also be signs of a medical emergency. And research shows that the stress of a natural disaster can trigger cardiovascular events like heart attacks and stroke. So, don’t chalk severe symptoms up to psychological distress. Call emergency services if you’re able.
Dr. Albers offers the following advice to help you get through the stress of a natural disaster.
In the immediate aftermath of a natural disaster, it can be tough to get yourself and your family the support you need. But depending on your circumstances, it may be possible.
If you live in the United States and have phone service, these resources can help:
Dr. Albers says getting through challenging moments is easier when you connect with people who care about you. So, don’t hesitate to answer the phone when Great Aunt Hilda calls to check-in. Link up with friends you haven’t talked to in a few months. And reach out to your neighbors.
“By talking about it, you know that you’re not alone,” Dr. Albers shares. “And talking about it can help to relieve stress and anxiety.”
One more thing: Don’t feel obligated to speak with anybody who’s going to add stress to your life. Needing help doesn’t mean you have to ignore your boundaries.
Cleaning up, filing claims and handling logistics can be overwhelming. There’s so much to do, it can be easy to forget the little things.
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But according to Dr. Albers, taking care of yourself makes it easier to navigate big challenges — and bigger feelings, like grief.
“Focus on the basics,” she urges. “Eating, sleeping, taking your medication: All of these things help lower your sense of stress and anxiety following a natural disaster.” And if it’s possible, avoid making big decisions or unnecessary changes during this time.
Humans are creatures of habit. Being able to anticipate how our days will look helps keep anxiety at bay. When our routines get disrupted, so does our sense of peace.
That’s why Dr. Albers recommends continuing to follow your routines and maintain your habits to the best of your ability. “It will help give you a sense of safety and control in your life,” she explains.
The details will be different, sure. But look for the opportunities to preserve your “normal.” Waking up at your usual time, walking the dog and reading to your kid before bed like you always have helps preserve your sense of self in the face of ambiguous loss.
Dr. Albers says it’s important to stay active in the aftermath of a natural disaster, that it can help keep us calm. That may be easier said than done if you have no power, no job to go to and no phone service. But helping others can fill that gap.
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“One of the things that you can do to regain a sense of control is to volunteer,” she suggests.
Check on your neighbors. Help clear debris from the roads. Help distribute food and water. And if you have talents you can bring to bear in an emergency — from administering first aid and translating to playing music to entertain bored children — use them!
And what if you’re sitting safe at home, worrying about somebody who’s in harm’s way?
Dr. Albers says the advice is the same: Stay busy. Keep reaching out, but understand that it may take a long time for your loved one to be able to contact you. If you’re nearby and able to help them, offer to do errands, make calls and send food.
Whether you’re smack in the middle of a natural disaster or watching from a distance, it’s important to stay informed. But Dr. Albers also emphasizes the importance of limiting the images of death and destruction you see on a daily basis as much as possible.
Even if it didn’t happen to you, being exposed to footage of a natural disaster can trigger a great deal of stress and anxiety. It can also lure you into doomscrolling and other kinds of negative reinforcement.
“If you find yourself unable to break away, make sure to take a break and focus on something else,” she recommends. She also urges you to be careful what you share on social media.
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“We want to keep people informed about what is happening. But seeing the same images over and over again can be triggering for everyone out there, particularly children.”
Nothing stresses out a parent quite like seeing their child upset. The good news is that, by helping them come to terms with a natural disaster, you also help yourself.
Kids are amazingly resilient, but a 2015 study by the Lancet Commission found children are still more affected by these sorts of events than adults. They’re even more vulnerable if they:
Dr. Albers offers the following tips for protecting your children’s mental health.
“When you talk to your kids about traumatic events that are happening in the world, be calm,” she advises. “When we role model a calm response for our children, they absorb our feelings.”
Role modeling healthy expressions of difficult feelings is a good thing. But try to minimize potentially upsetting responses.
And try not to fuss over your children too much. That’s tough given the circumstances. But remember: Children are suggestible. So, you don’t want them to get the impression you expect them to be upset.
Whether your child is 6 or 16, they’re going to want to understand what’s happening. If you offer answers, you can guarantee the details they get are developmentally appropriate. You can’t do that if they get their information through a random internet search or their buddy across the street.
If your kid’s keeping their feelings about the things they saw or experienced to themselves, it’s tempting to keep it that way. Dr. Albers prefers a different approach.
“Make sure you talk with your kids because they may be afraid, worried and anxious as well,” she recommends. And make sure you spend at least as much time listening as you spend talking.
No one wants their child to be scared, sad or stressed. But those are appropriate responses to a natural disaster. So, don’t tell your child not to cry or that there’s nothing to worry about.
Instead, Dr. Albers suggests validating their emotions and reassuring them you’ll do everything you can to keep them safe and well. (That includes getting them set up with a therapist, if necessary.)
If you’re able, she also recommends creating a self-soothing kit your kiddo can turn to when they’re feeling anxious. The kit can include a soothing blanket, pictures, their favorite toy and a puzzle to help distract them.
It’s tempting to tell your kid that you’re “going on a vacation” when you evacuate your home. Or that nobody got hurt in the severe weather event they’re seeing on the TV. But lying may do more harm than good.
Instead, offer straightforward and age-appropriate answers to their questions. And highlight positive stories. Your child may find comfort in hearing about people coming together to help in a time of need.
In an ideal world, it’s best to get children “back to normal” as soon as possible. But there’s nothing “ideal” about natural disasters.
You need to meet your children where they are. If one of your kiddos is really fixated on what’s happened, that’s OK. You can make lemonade out of lemons by:
These kinds of activities help children feel more in control.
Getting through those first difficult days after a natural disaster is a huge undertaking. And it’s understandable to be exhausted. But as days become weeks and months, it’s crucial that you keep checking in with both your loved ones and yourself.
“If you experienced the event directly or have a friend or family member who’s been affected, you’re at increased risk for anxiety, depression and PTSD — particularly if you have a pre-existing mental health condition,” Dr. Albers explains.
“If you notice that your sleep has changed, that your eating has changed, that you’re unable to function or that you’re isolating yourself from others, it’s time to reach out to a doctor or a therapist.”
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