How To Recognize and Cope With Emotional Stress

Feeling stressed is, at times, a normal part of life. Typically, you can manage life’s stressors with a deep breath and a little smart thinking to correct the problem.

But sometimes, stress can be brought on by a more complicated situation or hardship, it can feel more intense and be harder to manage, like a heavy weight you just can’t shake. This is called emotional stress. You’ve probably dealt with it at some point in your life when you’ve felt overly angry, worried, sad or frustrated. This combination of intense emotions along with an underlying stress make it more overwhelming than other types.

Psychologist Ramone Ford, PhD, explains the signs of emotional stress and how to cope.

What is emotional stress?

Emotional stress is the underlying stress that stems from intense emotions like fear, anger, sadness or frustration. These emotions are often a normal part of life, of course. But it can become an unhealthy situation when they create stress that interferes with your ability to do what you want or need to do.

“Oftentimes, emotional stress can feel like your emotions are getting the best of you,” says Dr. Ford.

Maybe you’ve recently gone through a breakup. Or are grieving the death of a loved one. These and other hardships can bring on emotional stress that can make it harder to cope.

Emotional stress symptoms

Signs and symptoms of emotional stress can manifest in different ways for everyone, Dr. Ramone notes. And they can be mental, behavioral and even physical. Our bodies can send a message that we’re stressed through different aches, pains or feelings of discomfort.

Physical symptoms of emotional stress include:

• Headaches or migraines.
• Feeling tired, fatigued or exhausted even after resting.
• Sleep problems (sleeping more or less than usual).
• Weakened immune system (you’re getting sick more than usual).
• Skin problems like rashes or acne.
• Heaviness in your chest, or chest pain.
• Increased heart rate.
• Body aches and pains in places like your shoulders, neck or back.
• Grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw.
• Gastrointestinal problems like upset stomach, diarrhea or constipation.
• Shortness of breath.
• Feeling anxious or depressed.
• Losing or gaining weight suddenly and unintentionally; changes in your eating habits.
• Low sex drive. 

In addition, mental and behavioral symptoms of emotional stress include:

• Changes in behavior.
• Difficulty concentrating.
• Increased emotional reactions. 
• Social withdrawal.
• Neglecting responsibilities. 
• Physical self-harm.
• Expressing hopelessness or despair.
• Using alcohol or drugs.

Emotional stress management

If you’ve recognized that what you’re feeling is emotional stress, know that you’re not alone. It’s something we all experience at different points in our lives, and there are many different ways to help manage it. Try one or more of the following techniques:

Find time to relax

In the same way you pencil in important meetings, errands or events with friends, try the same approach to set aside time for yourself to unwind. “Even if you can devote only five to 15 minutes a few times a day to relax, you’ll be doing yourself and your stress levels a world of good,” Dr. Ford suggests.

What you do with these moments of relaxation will look different depending on who you are. Maybe your idea of relaxing is an intense workout class. Or maybe you prefer a quiet night in with a book. Take a moment to ask yourself: What activity helps you relax?

Here are some ideas to get your gears turning:

• Read a book.
• Download and listen to a meditation app or podcast episode (sounds of nature, rain or brown noise) on your computer or phone.
• Go for a walk.
• Practice yoga.
• Listen to music, sing along to your favorite song or dance to music.
• Enjoy a soothing bath or warm shower.
• Sit in silence with your eyes closed.
• Light a scented candle.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is learning how to focus your attention and become more aware. With mindfulness, you can learn to feel the physical changes in your body that happen in response to your changing emotions. Understanding this mind-body connection is a great first step in learning how emotions affect your body, as well as how to better manage your stress.

“Mindfulness can also help you focus your mind to stay in the present moment and feel more attuned to your emotions,” says Dr. Ford. As you begin to figure out what helps you feel calmer and more relaxed in that moment, you’ll learn how to carry that forward to apply it to other stress triggers.

Distract your mind and focus on something else

When you’re feeling a wave of stress, a distraction can help clear your brain and refocus your attention. Focus your mind on something other than what’s causing your stress.

Dr. Ford says that if you find yourself ruminating on your stress, try to intentionally shift your thoughts to something more enjoyable. Watch a funny movie, play a game, engage in a favorite hobby (paint, draw, take pictures of nature or play with your pet). Volunteer for an activity to help others. Do something with people you enjoy.

Try journaling

Journaling is the practice of writing down your thoughts and feelings so you can understand them more clearly. It’s a method that encourages you to slow down, pay attention and think about what’s going on in your life — and your feelings and reactions.

As journaling can reveal your innermost thoughts, it can also reveal your emotional stress triggers. “You can identify and then replace negative thoughts and feelings with more positive behaviors,” Dr. Ford encourages. Journaling is a healthy and positive way to face your emotions. When you confront your emotions, healing or change can begin.

Practice meditation

Meditation is another way to actively redirect your thoughts. You can manage your emotions and reduce your emotional stress by choosing what you think about, such as positive thoughts or warm, comforting memories.

“If you’re new to meditation, try following a guided meditation first. Then, you can work toward finding a meditation routine that works for you,” Dr. Ford recommends.

Here are some types to try:

• Breath meditation.
• Mindfulness meditation.
• Guided imagery meditation.
• Tai chi or yoga nidra.
• Sleep meditation.
• Forest bathing. 
• Walking meditation.

Lifestyle changes

Ever notice how taking more walks or drinking enough water suddenly makes you feel more clear-headed? It’s not just a coincidence. Your overall health is deeply tied to how you deal with stress. The healthier you feel, the better you’ll cope with stress.

Here are some ways to lead a healthier lifestyle:

• Get quality sleep. Aim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Relax before bedtime with a soothing bath, some reading time or a warm cup of chamomile tea.
• Maintain a healthy diet. Eating enough protein, vegetables and nutrients can improve your overall health. Not sure where to start? Try the Mediterranean diet.
• Exercise regularly. No need to run a marathon or sign up for boot camp classes. Hopping on a bike, doing a dance class or even a light jog can boost your mood and bring those stress levels down.
• Connect with others. Keep in touch with people who can help support you, both practically and emotionally. Ask for help from family, friends or religious or community groups you’re associated with.

When to seek help

If you’re still feeling symptoms of emotional stress after practicing relaxation techniques and adjusting your lifestyle, consider contacting a healthcare provider.

Don’t stay “frozen” or feel like you’re holding your breath, waiting for your feelings to be over. “There’s no shame in feeling overwhelmed by your emotions or needing to get additional help to manage your stress,” Dr. Ford reassures. The most important thing is that you find ways to feel better.

Counselors and mental health therapists are trained professionals who can help you cope, reduce the effects of emotional stress and get you back to feeling good during your day-to-day.

If you or a loved one have thoughts of suicide, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. They’re available 24 hours/day, seven days a week.