What Is Generational Trauma? And How You Can Break the Cycle

Our experiences affect us. That’s a given. Like, if you’ve been in a car accident, it can make you nervous to drive again. That seems obvious enough.

But what about how our parents’ experiences affect us? Our grandparents’? And further back in our family history? Can the adversities faced by generations past make a difference in how we live our lives today?

Absolutely, says forensic nurse Michele Reali-Sorrell, DNP, RN, SANE-A, SANE-P. It’s called generational trauma.

Here’s how it happens and what can be done to address it.

What is generational trauma?

Generational trauma happens when an overwhelmingly negative experience causes ripple effects that are passed down in the family. It can also be called intergenerational trauma or transgenerational trauma.

“Trauma is the way we react to events that are physically life-threatening or emotionally or psychologically distressing,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell explains. “Generational trauma looks at how that lasting pain is transferred from one generation to another.”

In other words, think of it as invisible family baggage that gets passed through the years. It’s not a physical thing, like a prized recipe or handmade quilt. But rather, it’s the emotional and psychological burdens that get wired into you.

“Generational transmission can be good: Cultural and family traditions and healthy, positive values can be passed from one generation to the next,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell points out. “But there are also negative things that are passed along that have long-lasting impacts on family members for years to come.”

How generational trauma happens

Generational trauma happens when a member of your family experiences trauma that isn’t fully resolved.

It can stem from any deeply stressful or overwhelming event or pattern that has a big impact on your physical and mental well-being. That can include things like:

• Abandonment or neglect
• Bullying, harassment and persecution
• Death of a parent or sibling
• Divorce
• Estrangement or separation from family
• Incarceration
• Human trafficking
• Natural disasters
• Physical, emotional, mental or sexual violence
• Poverty
• Substance abuse
• War

And probably dozens of other reasons, all more common than you may realize.

“It’s estimated that 70% of adults, about 223 million people worldwide, have reported at least one traumatic experience in their life,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell reports.

These experiences can change the way you go about your life. They can affect what you teach your children — whether you realize it or not. Your kids learn from your example and raise their children similarly. And so on and so on.

Just as your parents and grandparents might have taught you how to bake a favorite family dessert, they may have also — subtly or not — shared unhealthy coping mechanisms, difficult relationship patterns, lingering fears and other effects.

“There can be years of patterns and behaviors that get passed on,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell explains.

Understanding the effects

The roots of generational trauma may be traced back to a single event or a series of negative patterns that affect you. Studies of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have shown that children who are exposed to highly stressful situations can be deeply affected throughout their lives.

“ACE studies show that what you’re exposed to as a child carries on into your adulthood,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell notes. “So, when you think about a generation that’s raising you, and their life experiences, it’s clear that their learned behaviors and interactions can affect your life, too.”

And the impacts of childhood trauma can be seen for generations to come, with consequences like:

• Interpersonal violence and abuse
• Substance abuse
• Anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions
• Financial strain
• Chronic disease
• Problematic relationships

Let’s consider some ways generational trauma might bear out.

Love and family dynamics

Your parents and other caregivers are your first role models. So, what they do and how they act gets imprinted on you as “normal stuff.”

If you grow up in a home with domestic violence or substance abuse, for example, you learn from that. You might learn that loud voices are the way to express yourself. You could learn that substance use is a normal part of daily life. You may learn to respond to conflict with aggression.

Unless or until you learn otherwise, this can affect how you choose a partner and raise kids in the future. And you can continue the cycle: Some studies have shown that adults who were abused as children are up to three times as likely to abuse their own children.

Emotional burden

Some traumas may be expressed as fears or avoidance behaviors. And generations to come can pick up on emotional stressors and hold them as their own.

Say your grandfather’s house was lost to a tornado when he was a child. He might be fearful of storms in the future. His child (your mother or father) recognized this growing up and used to hide in the basement whenever it rained.

Now, let’s fast forward to the present. You’ve heard the stories of grandpa’s destroyed childhood home, and you sense your mom or dad’s unease during bad weather. As a result, you also get anxious when the forecast calls for storms.

You’ve never experienced devastating storm damage yourself, and yet the generational worries linger in you.

Genetic changes

Trauma can actually change the way our genes are expressed — without changing the genes themselves. That’s a process called epigenetics.

Holocaust survivors are one of the most well-studied groups in this area. Studies suggest their trauma resulted in chemical alterations in their genes — specifically, a gene involved in stress regulation.

Those same genetic effects were also seen in their children, even though they were born much later.

When trauma changes how your body reads and reacts to your genes, those responses can carry through the generations, just like dimples and a cleft chin.

Physical health

The lingering effects of generational trauma can cause a lot of stress. And unresolved stress can do a number on your physical health. That includes increasing your risk for health troubles, like:

• Heart disease
• Diabetes
• Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
• Eating disorders
• Lowered immune response
• Mental health conditions, like anxiety and depression

What’s more, the negative experiences your family carries can keep you from developing healthy habits, like eating nutritious meals and exercising, that can keep these health conditions (and others) at bay.

As an example, if your parent worked day and night after their spouse died young, they probably didn’t have much space to prioritize your physical fitness. They might not have had the resources or time for homemade family dinners every night.

Those childhood experiences followed you and informed your habits, which, in turn, inform how you parent your children.

Prenatal development

Pregnancy is physically and emotionally demanding. And being pregnant while living with the stress of trauma can be particularly fraught. It can even affect healthy fetal development.

“When you’re pregnant and stressed, the fetus can receive more and more cortisol, a hormone that prepares them for fight or flight,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell explains. “Down the road, that child can become very reactive to stress because they’ve had that exposure in utero.”

And if you really want to think about generational effects, consider this: Baby girls are born with all of their eggs. So, when you’re pregnant with a girl, the seeds of your potential future grandchildren are being formed. That’s three generations in one. And what you’re coping with during your pregnancy can have a lasting effect on them all.

Breaking the cycle

Breaking the cycle of generational trauma starts with understanding it as a part of your story.

“It’s really important for us to identify it, acknowledge it and put it out into the world. This happened to me. I can’t take it back. It’s a powerful reflection,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell acknowledges.

That can be a tall task on your own. It can be hard for us to see ourselves objectively and understand that our experiences are unique and, often, uniquely flawed.

What can help? Some people can start to process and unpack generational trauma with the help of friends and family. Others turn to apps and books to help them reflect and process.

But more than anything, mental healthcare — particularly, cognitive behavioral therapy — is going to be the most successful route to breaking the cycle in your family and creating a new normal. Medication can help some people as one part of a comprehensive treatment plan as well.

With proper trauma-informed care, you can learn to:

• Accept trauma as part of your family’s experience.
• Recognize its effects on you and your family.
• Break unhealthy habits and thought patterns.
• Create healthier patterns of thought and behavior.

Your family’s history doesn’t have to be your destiny. But it can take some very dedicated effort to change course.

“It’s not as easy as ‘just stopping,’” Dr. Reali-Sorrell emphasizes. “Trauma responses are deeply held and hard to shake. Breaking the cycle of generational trauma takes more than sheer willpower — it often requires support, tools and new ways of thinking.”

The experiences of generations before you aren’t your fault. And the ways they affect you are valid. But you have the power to stop the cycle. If you recognize signs of generational trauma in your family, resources in your community, places of worship and in the healthcare system can help.

“Look for support that comes through a trauma-informed lens,” Dr. Reali-Sorrell advocates. “The conversation shouldn’t be around, What’s wrong with you? but, rather, What happened to you?”

A primary care provider may recommend a supportive therapist. Or search the Psychology Today website. For immediate support or mental health crises in the U.S., contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Families pass down both strengths and struggles. You can honor your past while choosing a healthier future. You’ve carried the burdens for far too long. You don’t have to carry them forever.